Brian and Cathy Gray Rants from the Fig Tree

Hackable Animals Reloaded

A Rant

How ironic that the segment of people who embraced one radical ideology and labeled anyone who disagreed with them as an opposing ideology in 2020 are now aligning with the very ideology they previously opposed. These ignore one massacre to oppose another. They remain blind to the fact that the very group they support now will be obliged to kill them if they come to power.

Meanwhile, the people labeled as “not human” and  “animals” who were saved from genocide 78 years ago are now celebrated for their necessary eradication of “evil animals” who are “not human” today. These justify one massacre in opposition to another. Elsewhere in the world, those who fought to free the first group being opposed by the very group they liberated.

Meanwhile, back in the land of prosperity, and entitlement, those who oppose the alleged systematic oppression of one minority people group, demand the right to murder their children in the name of the human rights and health of another allegedly oppressed minority group. This is further justified by the claim that people in the womb are not human.

Perhaps you have noticed the absurdity is clarified by the absence of labels and names.

How did we get here?

Many people do not have a point of reference beyond themselves. Hence truth is defined as whatever they experience or perceive. Furthermore, we have sacrificed the ability and right to think critically on the altar of consensus rooted in, and driven by emotion. Our hackers easily direct our individual and collective discontent toward whatever fragment of imperfect humanity they deem most likely to inflame our emotions. Once in this state, we confuse “awfulizing” a problem and choosing a side, with contributing to its solution never realizing that “we”, not “they” are our real problem. All are dead men walking – appointed to the very wrath we would assign to others. Our condition is further confirmed and reinforced by our self-righteous hatred for whichever side our hackers have assigned us to oppose.

We are double-minded.

The root of our confusion and hypocrisy is twofold.

On one hand, we have the attempted negation of absolute truth and with it the denial of a source. Truth becomes a personal affair. Within this paradigm, consensus is love and disagreement hate. All hate must be killed so that love can thrive. 

On the other hand, we have consensus-based affirmation that absolute truth does exist. Yet there is little to no understanding of what that TRUTH is. In its place, we have emotionally contrived, stump speeches and celebrity pulpits labeled as absolute truth as the preferred influencers imagine it.

It would seem that one man surmised correctly in 1871. People in both groups will kill one another and themselves until only a controllable few are left. Those that remain will be so demoralized that they will gladly accept the chief hacker as king.

Still, there remains one way to be unhackable. One truth, that leads to our origin, true freedom, true life, and the reconciliation of the family to which we all belong. It is a narrow way.

Only a remnant will find it.

As in the story Pinnochio, the wider, easier way is filled with comfort and pleasure. This broad beautiful road will remain more attractive, more interesting for a season as those who traverse it are conformed to the image of proverbial donkeys. Thinking themselves wise they inevitably become fools and all that they have permitted themselves to hate.

They are without excuse.

Maranatha

Brian and Cathy Gray Bible study, Rants from the Fig Tree

The Glory of Man

Since you have purified your souls in obeying the truth through the Spirit in sincere love of the brethren, love one another fervently with a pure heart, having been born again, not of corruptible seed but incorruptible, through the word of God which lives and abides forever, because “All flesh is as grass And all the glory of man as the flower of the grass. The grass withers And its flower falls away, But the word of the LORD endures forever.”  Now this is the word which by the gospel was preached to you. 1 Pet 1:22-25

Peter is quoting from the deeply prophetic Isaiah chapter 40 which among other things contrasts the greatness of God with the apparent weakness and yes- the relative insignificance of man’s life on earth. Hence the featured image for this post is titled “The Pale Blue Dot”. It is a photo of Earth taken on February 14, 1990, by the Voyager 1 space probe from 6 billion kilometers or 3,728,227,153 miles away. Carl Sagan noted that every human being who has been born has lived and died on this “mote of dust”. 

I was in Rocheter NY in 1990. I can’t find myself anywhere. Job 38

Obviously, the God whose love power, and sovereignty are beyond our comprehension loved us enough to save us from His wrath Eph 2:1-3 or we wouldn’t be here. Those in Christ Jesus are saved and afforded the right to BECOME sons of God. Our names are written in the Lamb’s Book of Life. Rev 3:5, 1 John 5:11-14 We are new creations in an ongoing process of transformation Rom 12:1-2 for the purpose of being conformed to the image of His Son Jesus. Rom 8:29

That means I’m not done yet. Neither was Paul.

Not that I have already attained, or am already perfected; but I press on, that I may lay hold of that for which Christ Jesus has also laid hold of me. Brethren, I do not count myself to have apprehended; but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. Phil 3:13-16

We must keep in mind that not only did He redeem us from the wages of sin which is death, Rom 6:23 God is in the process of redeeming all of His creation. The Gospel of Salvation is fulfilled. The Gospel of the Kingdom is not. We miss the big picture entirely if we make the Gospel just about ourselves. That’s not snark directed at the self absorbed but an exhortation to stop selling ourselves short. We must be mindful of the fact that God’s endgame is a wedding and a return to our original state in the Garden of Eden with the added benefit of receiving the right to eat from the Tree of Life. Rev 22:14.

Still, would it surprise you to learn that most cultures, especially the middle eastern ones in which the Bible was written are not based on the individual? So consumed with ourselves, our rights and well being are we in the West that we read the Bible as if it were written about us as individuals rather than for us as His bride, the church. There’s a world of difference. In any case, your true identity is not about you being you. It’s about you being a part of His body that in turn is becoming a spotless bride in preparation for the wedding. Rev 19:6-9

This is where and when the fullness of our identity will be found.

That being said, any real understanding of our identity requires that we examine Adam and Eve’s original state of identity before the Fall. And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed. Gen 2:25 Sin was born when the eyes of them both were opened, and they knew that they were naked…Gen 3 Immediately they sought to cover themselves with fig leaves. Suffice it to say that the door to sin was opened with the eating of the fruit of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. The first fruit of sin that is the seed of all other sin was

the birth of self-centeredness.

Self-centredness is the root of guilt, shame, and condemnation.

Before the fall from grace, Adam and Eve were so completely focused on God and His plans that guilt, shame, and condemnation did not exist. They didn’t even know that “nakedness” was a thing. Where they previously walked in perfect intimacy and union with Him, their newly gained knowledge of good and evil created a distinction and separation between themselves and God. That separation has continued to widen over time.

The world in which we live today is the exact opposite of the prefall Garden.

It’s not that we weren’t already narcissistic. But the advent of the smartphone took our inherent narcissism to new levels. Where we previously recognized narcissism as a character defect, it has become so imbedded in the collective psyche that today it’s a character strength and a cultural norm.

Narcissus from Greek Mythology fell in love with his own reflection.

Still, we may not recognize it as narcissim because the failure to fall fully in love with one’s own reflection is often labeled as low self-esteem resulting from not feeling “seen and heard”. We wonder why anxiety and depression are so far off the charts and try harder to affirm ourselves, each other and especially our children. “If only they knew who THEY are!” we say. Yet denying self – not affirming self is the first step in God’s plan for our freedom after we are saved. “Do as thou wilt” and self affirmation are Satan’s. How ironic that one’s birthday is regarded as the highest day of celebration on the Satanic calendar.

Here’s a quick reminder before I proceed. God is Good. God loves you. He desires the best for you. His plan “A” is that one day you will rule and reign with Him. Rev 20:4-6

Moving on…

Still, so many believers struggle to comprehend how an obsession with one’s identity in Christ could become narcissistic. Those who begin to grasp it often make the mistake of plumbing the depths of guilt, shame, and condemnation never realizing that this is just another form of self-obsession. If only we could grasp that narcissism and self-loathing are just opposite sides of the same coin.

If only we’d realize that Jesus’ command to deny self, Mat 16:24 (to affirm that one has no acquaintance or connection with, to forget one’s self, lose sight of one’s self and one’s interests) is the first step after salvation on the path to freedom. That Jesus loves me is not expressed in His affirmation of me. But rather in His desire that

I be free from the bondage of me.

If that seems paradoxical or confusing, then consider that Jesus who was perfect and blameless conquered Satan, sin, and death by becoming the biggest loser in the eyes of the world.  He was beaten more severely than any human being before, since, or ever will be, and still remain alive. Then He died a criminal’s death on the cross. His was the most brutal and shameful form of public humiliation. It was completely counterintuitive to everyone’s worldview both then and now including that of His disciples. After all, how could losing a fight make one a winner?

And yet it is exactly what gave Him all authority. 1 Pet 3:18-22

The Kingdom of Heaven is upside down to the world where the least is the greatest Mat 23:11, Luke 9:48 and losing is gaining. Mat 16:25 Biblically speaking success looks more like people maligning us than praising us. Luke 6:26 We should be honored to be found worthy of being called the filth of the world, the offscouring of all things 1 Cor 4:13 and a bit terrified to be placed on a pedestal and celebrated as distinguished and wise.

One of our biggest challenges as Westerners is that we don’t do well with the tension of paradox. We want a clear delineation of boundaries. Am I this or am I that? The idea that we exist as both the offscouring of all things and Abraham’s seed, – heirs according to the promise. Gal 3:29 boggles our mind, will and emotions otherwise known as our soul and our flesh. On the the other hand, if we are able to embrace the paradox we soon realize that our newfound identity in Christ is but spiritual milk which is foundational. The foundation is important but it’s not the finished work. 1 Cor 3. The context of our new identity is that he died for all, that those who live might no longer live for themselves but for him who for their sake died and was raised. 2 Cor 5:14-21

Yes you are a new creation.

Just keep it in context. 

For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God. When Christ who is your life appears, then you also will appear with him in glory. Col 3:3-4

This is in reference to the Blessed Hope, Titus 2:13 not an over realized eschatology and misinformed interpretation of the Lord’s prayer.

…On Earth as it is in Heaven…

Once again, just as a pickle can not return to a cucumber, if you have truly given your life to Jesus and have been baptized, the old man is dead and you are a new creation. “New creation” looks like a sperm penetrateing an egg or a seedling penetrating the soil. A lot of seedings today are desperately trying to affirm themselves as giant red woods. The DNA blueprint is there. But there’s a lot of maturing to do. Hence there is a reason why Jesus framed the fulfilment of the Gospel of the Kingdom in the context of childbirth. Mat 24:3-31 The point here is that none of us are finished works. If indeed you have believed, and given your life to Jesus you are a newly formed creation. Take your last big gulp of milk believe what the word says. “God loves you!” Now pursue solid food that leads to maturity. Maturity is the the unity of the faith and the knowledge of the Son of God, to mature manhood, to the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ, Eph 4:11-16 

work out your own salvation with fear and trembling; for it is God who works in you both to will and to do for His good pleasure. Phil 2:12

Again our purpose here is not to lambast the self-obsessed. This is the default state of all as a result of the fall. If guilt shame and condemnation remain it is not an identity problem. It’s a flesh problem. We are still carnal. Either we aren‘t born again, we have unconfessed sin, or we are simply walking in the flesh.

For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit, the things of the Spirit. For to be carnally minded is death, but to be spiritually minded is life and peace. Rom 8:5-6

How do we do that?

Start by not listening to teachers apart from the whole counsel of God and the Berean approach to verifying the truth. Acts 17:11 Our hope is not in this world 1 John 1:15-17 but in the final revealing of our Lord Jesus Christ. Titus 2:13 Holy Spirit with whom we are sealed is just a down payment on our future inheritance, Eph 1:14. Our true and full identity will only be realized in our appearing with Him in glory. It will be made manifest when we are fully conformed to the image of His Son. Rom 8:29 That said, it will only be realized in the context of a unified bride, Eph 4:13 without spot or wrinkle. Eph 5:27 We will be assured that we have arrived when we cease our painful and fleshly Rom 7:13-25 struggle because we see Him face to face and know Him even as we are known. 1 Cor 13:12 In the meantime we are growing. We know in part, we prophesy in part, we see as in a glass darkly.

The dark image we see in the mirror is our identity.

Finally, the wrong emphasis always produces wrong foundations. Milk-fed flesh eventually results in jealousy and strife rooted in a culture of celebrity. Today, “I follow Paul,” and another, “I follow Apollos”  looks like “I follow Bill, or Todd or Justin or… We divide because we are building on different foundations never considering that the teachings of our favorite preachers might be destined for flames. 1 Cor 3:9-15…If anyone’s work is burned, he will suffer loss; but he himself will be saved, yet so as through fire...We glorify man and vicariously glorify ourselves by proclaiming and defending our tescgers teachings as if they were our own. 1 Cor 4:7 We do it because it’s easier to let others think for us. We read books about the Bible by our preferred celebrity teachers and quote them as if we are quoting scripture itself. Is it any wonder why the body of Christ continues to be blown about by every wind of doctrine? Is it any wonder that we remain so anxious and confused all the while striving to deny the vapourous nature of our lives James 4:14 and the truth that

“All flesh is as grass And all the glory of man as the flower of the grass. The grass withers And its flower falls away, But the word of the LORD endures forever.”

Only the word of the LORD endures forever.

That is why He has magnified His word above all His name. Psalm 138:2

Build on that.

Maranatha

Brian and Cathy Gray Commentary, Devotional, Rants from the Fig Tree, Uncategorized

His Surpassing Love

Ephesians 3:18-19

March 1st marked a year since we moved to Greeneville TN and since I last wrote about my best childhood friend Craig Hammerly. Craig was the unauthorized friend with whom I used to play in the woods between our houses when we were 6 or 7 years old. I say “unauthorized” because Craig was that “bad kid”.  My mother forbade our friendship. So I’d grab my Tonka dump truck, excavator, and matchbox cars and meet Craig secretly to play.  Craig didn’t have any toys so it was up to me. Craig lived alone with his grandfather. Rumor had it that he “did… things to Craig” – the kind of things that people didn’t talk about let alone do anything about in those days.  Craig got held back in the third grade and we eventually grew apart. He grew grew more angry and became the school bully that everyone was afraid to fight. Craig couldn’t read but he was good at fighting. Man could he punch hard. Elementary school mythology had it that “he’d knocked out a high school kid when he was in the sixth grade. Even the teachers were afraid of him.” He moved away before we got to Jr. High. Ironically after 50 years I felt prompted to look him up on the internet. He was all over the internet. Craig, who called himself Damien Knight had been on drugs and in and out of jail for most of his life.  He’d been arrested again just a week before.

Craig beat his roommate to death with his fists.

Craig is by definition,dead in his trespasses. Eph 2:1

The Acts 17:11 Bereans Bible study just finished Ephesians chapter 3. We ended last session with all of us pondering the breadth and length and height and depth and the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, Eph 3:18-19 We all agreed that His love is best understood in contrast with who we were; dead people appointed to wrath Eph 2:1-3 versus who we are today

in Christ Jesus. Eph 2:4-6

God’s definition of love is counterintuitive to that of the world.

Even more counterintuitive is that “Dead in our trespasses” puts all of us on equal footing with Craig and even the worst serial killer.

Jeffrey Dahlmer

That’s a hard red pill for some.

It’s not that our actions here on earth equal those of Dahlmer. Rather it is that all dead people are equally dead. Jesus clearly illustrates this principle in Luke 13:1-5 …No, I tell you; but unless you repent, you will all likewise perish...

At the end of the day the only thing that any of us brings to our salvation is our sin.

That should be really good news to all but the unholy trinity of

Me, Myself and I.

Thankfully Jesus prescribed the antidote. Mat 16:24-26

“My Identity”

“My Identity” is a favorite theme in the church these days. If there is anything good in me now it is Jesus. My identity is in him Col 3:3 “But what about 2 Cor 5:17?” “I thought all things are made new.” Yes, they are and yes you are. But only in Christ Jesus. Narcissism hates that. Narcissism can not survive in Christ Jesus. Thankfully, the Father is conforming us to the image of His Son Rom 8:29 in an ongoing process of transformation and renewal Rom 12:1-2.

Once again we don’t worship a God of this or that. Our God is a God of this and that. So often believers skip Oh wretched man that I am! who shall deliver me from the body of this death?… Rom 7:24-25 to the so much sweeter Rom 8:1-2 where There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus… Yet, we must embrace and internalize both if we are to do more than just scratch the surface of His love that surpasses knowledge.

Oh wretched man…

I raised a few eyebrows when I wrote about my Holston experience in For the Love of Sid. It was inspired by the Toy Story character that everyone loves to hate. Some were disturbed that I would still identify with the evil Sid. “I refuse to see you as Sid,” said one friend. “But you have a new identity now!” assured another. Well…

Yes and No

I ended up living on my own at 14 and subsequently took Craigs place in the community. Suddenly I was that bad kid with whom mothers forbade their children to associate. I walked a lonely angry path that eventually landed me in jail. I could have easily been where Craig is today. But I came face to face with the love that surpasses knowledge amidst a point blank shotgun blast. I wasn’t looking for God. I was looking to die. Little did I know I was already dead. Jesus showed up and saved me. And not just from the shotgun. He saved me from me. Why me and not Craig? If you say it is because there was something different about me then you’ve missed the point entirely.

I’m no longer dead in my trespasses. Nor am I consumed by guilt, shame, and condemnation. Still, I am very much Sid. I am Craig. I am Jeffery Dahlmer. The only difference is that I am in Christ Jesus.

God loved me and still loves me in spite of me not because of me.

God loves me because of who He is. 

This is such a deep core truth and just the beginning of His love that surpasses knowledge.

The best I can do today is to be grateful and love the people like me that He sends my way. Luke 7:47

I shared the story of Craig and me with some of the boys with whom I work. You know you’ve hit a nerve in boys when they just look you long and hard in the eye and don’t say word. Only one boy asked a question. “How does that make you feel Mr. Brian?” “Sad” I began

“And Grateful.”

We ended the Bible study session with my favorite allegory about a righteous African King whom everyone loved and respected. His word was unshakable. He said what he meant and meant what he said.

One day his administrators reported that someone was stealing chickens in the village. If you’ve been to places like Mozambique then you know that “chicken thieves die!” So the King made a decree. When the thief was caught he would receive one hundred stripes, enough to potentially kill a grown man.

The next day the thief was caught and brought before the king. It was the kings mother. The king was distraught. Still he commanded that she be stripped and tied to the whipping post. “One hundred lashes!” cried the king, “and not one less.” “If I even think you are holding back I will have you executed.” The men assigned to the task moved solemnly toward the kings mother. “Wait!” cried the King. “There’s one more thing.” The King stood and removed his shirt. Then covering his mother with his own body the King exclaimed,

Proceed!

Even this does not begin to describe the love that surpasses knowledge.

Even so, Passover has officially started as I publish this.

Maranatha

Brian and Cathy Gray Commentary, Rants from the Fig Tree

Enantiodromia – In Jesus’s Name

Enantiodromia is a Greek word that means “running in opposite ways”. Its contemporary use began when Carl Jung coined it to describe the tendency of one extreme to give birth to its polar opposite. Enantiodromia is most easily depicted in a pendulum where the extent of one swing is largely determined by the extent of the previous one. We see it in history where uber-conservative societies become licentious and vice versa. Perhaps it is most evident in Christianity and politics, especially when the two are combined.

“What has been is what will be, and what has been done is what will be done, and there is nothing new under the sun.” ECC 1:9

As I’ve said before, the mission field taught us a lot about the goodness and faithfulness of God amdist life-threatening situations and everything in the natural going wrong, amidst all of our earthly expectations being unfulfilled. We have come to understand that suffering is and always has been the norm for most of the world. Now we are in Greeneville Tennessee ministering to equally broken people and the as of yet unbroken one percent

whom God loves as much as the other ninety-nine.

We have found the tribulation of Rom 5:1-5 and the patience of James 1:1-4  to be vital in our understanding of the word of God and God’s ultimate plan. We have purposed to walk all of this out in the context of Prov 3:5-8. God always provided exactly what we needed to survive despite our not having a paycheck for 6 years. He guided us to whom we should serve and provided for them too. He will continue to provide because

He is the provider.

The proverbial midnight hour is His favorite time to come through.

We have learned the “name it and claim it” prosperity theme that undergirds so much of contemporary theology often results in confusion and frustration because people ask amiss that they may spend it on their pleasures James 4:2-4. That might be a hard word for those who have never experienced the conditions in which the majority of His bride currently resides. We have seen a similar error in gluttony for signs, wonders, and demonstrations of power. I sometimes wonder; is it unbelief or are people just bored with T.V.? Jesus did not come to entertain us. He came to destroy the works of the enemy. Interestingly He was rebuking the Pharisees  when he  declared “a wicked and perverse generation seeks after a sign.” Later in the same chapter, He warned about the leaven of the Pharisees and Sadducees who in addition to being the religious leaders of the day were also opposing, political factions. It was amidst this political and religious division that the Sons of Zaddock set themselves apart from the leavenous religious and political turmoil to preserve the genuine Jewish calendar and scriptures at Qumran.

Qumran

We have learned that the purpose of prayer is for us to align with God’s will – not to align His will with ours. We have learned that His will is best even when it seems to fail in our eyes and external circumstances appear tragic. We have learned that His will has little if anything to do with our comfort in this life, that earthly comfort and prosperity are incidental to His purpose.

Tribulation is not.

We have learned that the Christian walk is NOT about OUR blessing. It is a stripping away of our self-centered desire to be blessed. It is a 1 Corinthians 3:15 burning up our cravings and fluff. A Heb 12:27 shaking of our silly significance, self-image, performances, facades, and narcissism to reveal the Romans 7:24 body of death that hangs around all of our necks for which God gave His only begotten Son so that all who believe would be saved and walk in Romans 8:1-4 freedom.

We have come to understand that our life is not about OUR identity.

It’s about His. Col 3:3

Today we look at ourselves in the mirror and see that much dross remains, much that needs to be stripped, much in us that still needs to die. This dying is a vital step in our continued healing. James wrote “let patience have her perfect work so you may be complete desiring nothing”, ‘Nothing’ is mēdeís – desiring nobody, nothing. Not one man or woman or anything. We understand that this makes zero sense to those who presume to teach and promise prosperity, justice, and Heaven on earth now. It’s a genuine paradox until we take that first step in obedient faith. We have friends whom we deeply love and who insist on preaching these very things that we have already obediently rejected – the things that Jesus rejected. Luke 14:26. As scary, enigmatic, and lonely as this sounds it is not because He doesn’t want us to have anyone or anything. Rather He wants His desires to become our desires. Psalm 37:4 He wants to give us everything – to have what He has. He can’t do that if our hearts, and minds, are full of our own cravings, and ideas about how things ought to be.

His will won’t be done in our lives if we are fighting Jesus in Jesus’s name.

The Pendulum

People often cite Martin Luther’s Ninety-five Theses in 1571 as the beginning of the Protestant Reformation. Yet the English Reformation preceded it by 40 years when Mary Queen of Scots, a devout Catholic, began ordering the deaths of hundreds of protestant heretics in Jesus’s name.

Mary Queen of Scots

John Hooper the Bishop of Gloucester was among the first. The queen somewhat graciously offered Hooper a pardon provided he would publicly recant his anti-Catholic views. He refused and was sentenced to be burned at the stake. As the story goes, high winds on the day of his execution made it hard to get a suitable fire started and only Hooper’s legs and groin were burned.  One might think he’d have been tempted to change his mind and recant. Instead, he cried out,

“For the love of God, good people, let me have more fire!”

Hooper defiantly beat his chest until his arm fell off. He did the same with the other until it also fell off.

His hair burned, his eyes melted and he died.

So much for John 13:35

Eventually, these stubborn Hooper-inspired reformers prevailed and became the dominant political force under Queen Elizabeth, a devout Protestant, and the Church of England was born. Ironically, this new and allegedly doctrinally sound church held onto some Catholic traditions like “vestments” (Priestly garb) along with some other liturgical traditions. Some believers became incensed. They saw it as clear evidence that the spirit of the antichrist was in their midst. So, they split from the apostate Church of England, and the Puritan or the “Precisionist” movement was born. The Church of England’s clergy were quite offended of course. And it didn’t take long for the very people who had survived Mary’s reign of terror to begin arresting, jailing, torturing, hanging, drawing, quartering, castrating, and disemboweling their Puritan brethren

in Jesus’s name.

Some fled to Amsterdam in 1608 where the Lutheran Reformation was in full swing and the myriad core protestant denominations were formed. Among these were my own ancestors, John Alden and Priscilla Mullins who eventually left for the New World on the Mayflower. John Alden was among the men who signed the Mayflower Compact. He served as assistant governor of the Plymouth colony from 1631 until his death in 1687.

He persecuted Quakers and Baptists in Jesus’s name.

Two years ago Amos 3:7 was foundational for those wanting to believe in a God-ordained, prophetically declared election outcome.

“For the Lord GOD does nothing without revealing his secret to his servants the prophets.”

Agreed!

Ironically the book of Amos tells the story of Israel falling into idolatry and hypocrisy during a time of political stability and prosperity.  While there is no doubt that Donald Trump was elected according to God’s will in 2016, the same biblical principle applies to the election of Joe Biden in 2020 because

God (not man) establishes Kings. 

Meanwhile, we have learned that the enemy uses human things to pervert God’s things and God’s things to make the enemy’s things look Godly. Mat 10:16

“If you dance with the devil, then you haven’t got a clue, for you think you’ll change the devil, but the devil changes you.”

Milo Yiannopoulos Bathes in Pig’s Blood at First Conservative Pro-Trump Art Show

The inane politicization of the Christian faith has always resulted in absurd, blasphemous and sometimes dangerous theology. It always has and always will divide the body of Christ from Him and each other. Each swing of the pendulum produces more Mary Queens of Scots and John Hoopers. At best we will remain divided until we realize that we are one body, one bride united in the same mind and same judgment that He intends to make spotless and that His Kingdom is as Jesus clearly stated,

“Not of this world.” John 18:36

If it were His disciples would have fought and killed for it as when 1000 Sicarii Jewish Patriots tried and failed to make Israel great again at Masada in 73 AD. Most of them ended up killing their wives and children and then themselves rather than surrender.

Hence we are told to forgive and pray for our enemies, not kill them. Jesus came to conquer sin and death, to transform individual hearts and minds, not governments. He came to conform us to the image of His Son.

That Image is not an American

Then Peter opened his mouth and said: “In truth, I perceive that God shows no partiality. But in every nation whoever fears Him and works righteousness is accepted by Him. Acts 10:34-35

WWII German soldier returning to find his family and home is gone forever.
Vietnam war
Vietnam war
Afghan war victim

It occurred to me as I traveled to so many places on the mission field that at any time my government could label the people I served as enemies and my children could be sent to kill them. My grandmother was a missionary in China and left just before the Japanese invaded.

Today we have Christian Nationalists prepping to fight China or Russia. Meanwhile, I live in a Tennessee county that was divided during the Civil War. Today Christian Nationalists and Marxian Leftists are discussing the likleyhood of yet another one to be fought in Jesus’s name. At some point, the body of Christ needs to own the hypocrisy of singing “God Bless America” while cheering the bombing of His people to hell in Jesus’s name. Like it or not we were not given the ministry of political transformation. We are given 2 Corinthians 5 ministry of reconciliation.

In Jesus’s name

Today the Church has so many false gospel flavors that align with what entitled itching ears want to hear. We have the left-wing WOKE gospel with its neo-Marxist roots. We have the right-wing replacement theology that makes the church into God’s chosen over the rejected Jews and the USA into Jerusalem. We have Christian nationalism and progressive Christianity that mix the aspects above in varying degrees. There are Christian witches and New-Age Christians. We have Interfaith, Chrislam, and the Perennialism of Oprah and Richard Rohr. We have a prosperity gospel, grave sucking and canceling racism by the authority of Gandalf. We have the Vatican siding with globalists, validating the New Age and denying the existence of Hell. We even have emerging AI Christians ready to evangelize those worshiping an AI God in the metaverse. Instead of screening our views in accordance with Paul’s warning in Galatians 1:8-9, we divide ourselves based on our subjective opinions of how the world ought to be and the resulting constructs of God’s and our identities.

Today a few of the previously fervent “Trump prophets” are saying that Trump lost in 2020 because America and especially God’s people did not turn from their 2 Chron 7:14 wicked ways. Maybe it’s just me but I really didn’t need a prophet to tell me that. God has always given a nation its leaders based on the righteousness of the people.

2 Chron 7:14 has always applied to God’s people first even though we often apply it to everyone but ourselves.

He will heal our land if we repent.

Repentance for the body of Christ begins with asking ourselves, “Is Jesus being lifted up, or is someone else being glorified in His name?”  “Am I really praying “Thy will be done”? or do I want my will done in Jesus’s name? Are we being led by Holy Spirit as we mediate on God’s word? Or are we being led by books written and promoted by celebrity pulpits? Do we believe what God has already said?

Or do we believe God changes in accordance with what we want to hear?

We have justified our blood-thirsty patriotism with our opposition to abortion. We pointed the finger and demanded repentance from those who don’t even know Jesus. Now we cheer over the repeal of Roe V Wade. But Roe V Wade never was a law. Neither is its repeal. It has only clarified the division between those who would never choose abortion and those who always will. Meanwhile, we remain one nation under God, subject to His discipline in Jesus’s name.

As a nation, we are perverting the Imago Dei by sexualizing children, normalizing paraphilias, and following the exact path of reprobates whom Paul described in Rom 1:18-32 and Jeremiah rebuked for 40 years. We shake our heads and roll our eyes in disgust when we learn that some schools in the so-called Bible belt provide litter boxes for kids who identify as “Furries” and send our kids back to school the next day.

Our silence about the hard things guards our comfort. Our willingness to cheer others who contend with evil preserves our vicarious self-righteousness.  

We sing and pray and cry out for revival but we won’t sweep the leaven from His temple and our own lives. We are far too concerned with preserving our grandiose illusions about our identities. We won’t allow, let alone invite God to search and try us so we can truly heal. If we are biblically literate and even a little honest we see that the USA fits the type and shadow of Ninevah in the Book of Nahum or maybe Babylon in Revelation 18.

We’d rather imagine ourselves as a repentant Israel under Cyrus in Isaiah 45.

While I wish him no harm, and might even vote for him if he runs again, I often wonder if God won’t take Donald Trump out completely for the sake of His biblically confounded bride. That so many continue to proclaim any political party or candidate as a fulfillment of the gospel of the Kingdom is absurd. What frustrates me most is that political leaven is just one of many reasons why our witness is so powerless and that only 6% of Americans today have a biblical word view. It is why the left correlates Christians with Nazis, atheists call us crazy,

And young believers deconstruct in droves.

Listen, I have no issue with those who want to improve our country and way of life. After all, God calls both politicians and plumbers. I happen to think plumbers are more valuable and honorable. But if politics is your call then go for it. I do have a problem with those who believe the Bible and God’s plan are about MAGA, Social Justice, or any other false gospel. Those who would question or mock my political atheism should consider Galatians 1:8-9 and maybe do a word study on “accursed” – “Anathema“

Our experience on the mission field and countless others like us is proof that God is true to His word, that the true Gospel is the only answer for humanity and He preserves us in accordance with His will despite external circumstances. The abundant life is found in deliverance from all that holds us captive, Luke 4:18, the wounds that cause us to devour one another in Jesus’s name. Psalm 147:3 That abundance often comes with repentance amidst tremendous suffering and loss. Those who insist on fighting an earthy battle in the flesh, against the flesh for their best life now may soon find themselves fighting against God Himself in Jesus’s name. These will almost certainly be caught in a snare. Luke 21:35 What do you think? Will we learn from the past and repent before it’s too late? Will they know us by our endurance and love? Or will there be more John Hoopers before we are done? Mathew 10:16-18

Enantiodromia

Get off the pendulum.

Obey His Word In Jesus’s Name John 13:35

Maranatha!

Brian and Cathy Gray Rants from the Fig Tree

Begin With The End In Mind

“A church that is not eschatologically focused is a negligent culture.” 

–Nick Franks–

I just finished reading 1 Samuel and all the corresponding Psalms. I find this to be one of the most fascinating stories in the Bible with mentorship being just one underlying theme beginning with that between Samuel and Eli. God used Eli to teach Samuel to discern His voice. Yet Eli’s life was a disaster. Ironically the first message Samuel received from God and was told to proclaim was that Eli and his family would be cut off and that no sacrifice could be offered for forgiveness.

When was the last time you heard a prophetic word like that?

Samuel went on to anoint and mentor Saul and finally David both of whom committed the most abominable sins.  Saul disobeyed God then made excuses to justify his actions. So God rejected him as King. Amazingly, Saul was more concerned with how people viewed him than he was about his status in the eyes of God. 1 Sam 15:30  He had zero interest in God’s ultimate plan beyond his own role in it.

David committed adultery with his friend’s wife then had him killed. His actions were not without consequences but God forgave him because he repented. Even so, a gentle displacement story did not work and David only repented when Nathan confronted him directly. 2 Samuel 12. Later David is mentioned by Paul in Acts 13 as “a man after God’s own heart.” and his faith is acknowledged in the Heb 11 Hall of Faith.

Eli and Saul not so much.

It occurs to me that I have had one or two Eli’s, a couple three David’s, and a whole slew of Saul’s for mentors since I first surrendered to Jesus. All of the Saul’s were gifted and charismatic men who exert tremendous influence over people in Jesus’s name. My immaturity magnetized me to become attached to them. Some were tremendous teachers. Others were gifted in prophecy and healing.  Still, others could raise financial support in ways reminiscent of Moses bringing forth water from a rock. A few of these men behaved in ways that would result in an immediate loss of following and financial support were people to witness what lay just behind the Man of God façade. As is so often case they fell into the trap where their purpose and livelihood became contingent upon their being honored by men rather than God.

That’s a lot of pressure.

More than one of these men was prone to dishonesty, childish, and even violent outbursts when things didn’t go their way. Still, the issue was not the improprieties that can always be forgiven but the prideful refusal to acknowledge the sin and repent. Each time we parted ways. I haven’t heard from any of them since. Though I am told one of them is still periodically asks if I am saying anything bad about him.

David is the model.

I will admit that having my belief and trust violated has at times tempted me to believe that God delivered these men into my hands by exposing them like He delivered  Saul onto David twice. Still, responding like David is my goal and it is not my right let alone my responsibility to expose them to the world. Hence, I will not be naming names. The relevant point that I am working toward is that Saul and all of these contemporary typological Saul’s had zero interest in eschatology. One of them loudly declared,

“Let me tell you something! I don’t give a rip about eschatology!!”

If any man love not the Lord Jesus Christ, let him be Anathema Maranatha. 1 Cor 16:22

I’ve written about Maranatha before, the Aramaic word that depending on how it is pronounced means Jesus has come – Jesus is coming. It brackets the Christian life and history as a whole.  All that occurs in the space between is ancillary to the truth maranatha represents. Furthermore, It is utterly impossible to comprehend the Bible and especially the the New Testament apart from an eschatological Maranatha focus.

This past Sunday I gave a message to the children and staff from our alma mater, the City of Refuge. I began with the question, “If you don’t know where you are going how will you get there?” It was a very brief, shoot from the hip outline of history beginning in Gen 3:15 with an emphasis on the origin, meaning and significance of Jesus’s reference to Himself as the Son of man and the culmination of human history in a wedding and the final declaration of victory in Rev 22:17.

The Spirit and the Bride say, “Come.” And let the one who hears say, “Come.” And let the one who is thirsty come; let the one who desires take the water of life without price.

That said, it wasn’t teaching as much as a taste that hopefully inspired some to Acts 17:11 “Bereanhood”. The point that I hope everyone got is that Jesus’s declaration “It is finished!” does not mean everything is fulfilled.  The gospel of the kingdom will only be fulfilled in its entirety upon His return in accordance with Dan 7:13-14, Mat 24:30, Acts 1:11, 1Cor 15:50-58, etc. Until then the primary task at hand is the preparation of a spotless bride, otherwise known as the church. Those with an exclusive focus on “Jesus has come” are usually just selling cheap grace, fire insurance, and the false promise of “your best life now”. The true gospel is at its core future-oriented. Therefore all Christians are called to a solid eschatological orientation.

How do we do that?

We can start by resolving to not reinvent the wheel by repeating all of King Solomon’s lessons in the book of Ecclesiastes.  If you’ve never heard of King Solomon, he was the richest and wisest man in history. He experienced and possessed all the worldly things that a human being possibly could. Not because he was a hedonist. But because he sought the ultimate meaning and purpose of life. His conclusion? Nothing is new. Anything you think is new has already been done. Everything is meaningless including wisdom. But wisdom can save your life. Our only hope, meaning and purpose is to remember our Creator in the days of our youth, love God and keep His commandments.  This is the whole duty of man. 

“If you love me keep my commandments.”

– Jesus –

So what does that look like?

It certainly doesn’t mean a perfect adherence to 613 rules. If you are confused about this stop reading now and go to Eph 2 and Rom 7and 8. The Old Testament proves that fulfilling the law by ourselves is impossible. Jesus’s triumph on the cross frees us from that burden. That said, I submit that

the most concise daily plan for living in preparation for the wedding is outlined in Prov 3:5-8.

Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. Be not wise in your own eyes; fear the LORD, and turn away from evil. It will be healing to your flesh and refreshment to your bones.

As I explained to the kids, trusting in the Lord with all your heart rather than our own understanding means believing what God’s word says. It is our map. Of course, a map is useless if you don’t know how to read it. Believing means that regardless of how external circumstances look, Jesus not Satan has all authority in heaven and earth.  “It is finished!” means Satan is defeated. Whatever happens today is according to the will of God.  I explained that the devil did not shut the world down last year. God did. I said I believe it was a call to repentance that for the most part went unheeded. Trusting Him with all one’s heart means believing that everything that happens is advancing His kingdom toward its ultimate fulfillment in the eschaton. Rom 8:28 That final destination appears at the coordinates Rev 22:17. Hence Paul said we are to keep our eyes fixed on things above, not below. Col 3 Things above involve God’s plans.

Things below involve ours.

In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths means not just giving lip service to His majesty but making the pursuit of an intimate relationship with Him our primary focus in every moment.  Intimacy “with” begins with knowledge “of”. This has been our aim in Honduras and we have testimony after testimony of Him guiding our steps and making our paths straight. It’s not that we don’t ever wrestle in our minds. Only that the repetition of this principle over time increasingly overrides our natural thinking especially in a life or death moment of truth. We used the landslide that destroyed our home as an example and explained how it has yielded so much spiritual and relational fruit in our community. I told them how people siphoning gas from our ministry vehicle had caused us to move it down the mountain less than 24 hours before the landslide.  That we have a ministry vehicle at all today is the fruit of stolen gas.

In case you didn’t know “All things” means all things. Rom 8:28

Be not wise in your own eyes; means we should avoid casting ourselves in the role of what Oswald Chambers called an “amateur providence”.  We are never to assume we have it all figured out, that we or anyone else is exclusively anointed to hear from God or that any spiritual gift overrides human frailty. Any ability we may have is contingent on our weakness and total dependence on Jesus apart from whom we can do NO-THING. The gifts may be without repentance. But our constant need for repentance remains.

But that is not a popular message to preach if for no other reason than it would require preachers to forfeit their dreams of pulpit stardom and repent in the presence of their followers. One of the most prophetic moments for me last year was when the previous Vice President sugar-coated 2 Chron 7:14  and omitted “from their wicked ways” during a MAGA rally prayer. That so many leaders fail or refuse to acknowledge the wickedness of our nation and instead declare our supreme righteousness before God is an assurance that we are a nation under God’s judgment.  That so many fail to understand how that could be, is a direct result of negligent church culture. There would be no fake prosperity gospel, CRT, or Qanon Christians if the church was eschatologically focused. If that were the case “fear the LORD and turn away from evil” would apply and dominantly so. The fruit of an eschatological focus is always the fear of God. The fear of God births repentance and repentance, a further conformation to the image of Christ.

Acknowledging God means loving God. Loving God begins with learning everything we can about His character, history, ways, and plans to align our lives with Him and His end game.  Not loving God means being obsessed with MY self, MY history, MY opinions, MY ways, and especially MY goals and plans such that I imagine MY goals are his goals instead of making HIS goals mine. While the most blame will be assigned to those who teach, it does not absolve us as individuals of the responsibility to search the scriptures and studying ourselves approved. But don’t take my word for it. Be a Berean and check my work.

If any man love not the Lord Jesus Christ, let him be Anathema Maranatha. 1 Cor 16:22

Anathema means accursed. Accursed means going to hell. 

Begin with the end in mind.

Maranatha!

Brian and Cathy Gray Rants from the Fig Tree

The Hammer and The Lamp

“Whereas ye know not what shall be on the morrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapour, that appeareth for a little time, and then vanisheth away.” James 4:14

It’s been over five years since I’ve seen or heard from my old best friend Jason Oyler. Our lives were a wreck when we met and we surrendered to the Lord together in prison. Jason was my best man at our wedding and he lived with us for over a year. Today he’s in a coma for the second time following two back-to-back surfing incidents. I have no idea if he will ever read this let alone if I will have an opportunity to speak directly with him again. 

Jason in the white T-Shirt

As personalities go, I was and still am a hammer in a world of nails.  In contrast, Jason was a ten million lumen lamp that brightened the surroundings where ever he went. My attitude was and is like Paul’s in Lystra. Acts 14:19-20  Jason’s was one of “love covers a multitude of sins.” 1 Pet 4:8. I would rant.  He would smile. I would argue. He would diffuse my intensity with a joke. 

I eventually became a school-based adolescent substance abuse counselor and then a clinical supervisor overseeing six schools on Kauai. Meanwhile, Jason became a journeyman carpenter, then a licensed contractor building million-dollar homes.  I only saw him twice during that time. Once when he needed advice on setting boundaries in his relationship. The next was when his first wife died. Other than that neither one of us had the time. That’s my excuse anyway.

I’ve always been good at boundaries. Boundaries are what made me a successful counselor.

The CHAIR

The chair was the secure and confidential place in my classroom at Kappa Middle School. It sat behind a partition next to my desk. It was a place where hundreds of hurting children poured out their hearts and souls. A place where I tried to impart hard-earned wisdom and prevent children from choosing paths that Jason and I barely survived.  There wasn’t an inch of the chair that didn’t have a name. Many of them faded through the years and were signed over. Naturally, their lack of concern for their own confidentiality was a function of their being children. They were transparent, naïve to the realities of future adult life and the façades required for success in that world.

Still, I am reminded as I write that Jesus made being childlike a prerequisite for Heaven.

Jason was always childlike. He’d have been a great adolescent counselor.

I was a good counselor because nothing ever freaked me out. I could listen to the most heart-wrenching stories, often horror stories, and remain calm, rational, and detached.  I lasted ten years in a field where most people burn out in less than two. I’d still be working there if I hadn’t left for the mission field.

“How do you stay so straightfaced Mr?” the kids would ask. 

I got even better at boundaries as time went on and more clients died. Clients who OD and commit suicide cause counselors to quit. Yet I even videoed one funeral for the family of a child with whom I’d worked closely for years. “How do you do that and not cry?” people asked. “I’m crying inside.” I replied.  I wasn’t lying. I remember the sheer number of people who showed up to grieve his death. I guess they were crying inside too. Still, I wondered, as his friends poignantly poured his ashes into the sea, where were all these people before he put that noose around his neck. Where they repenting now?

Intimacy

Intimacy is something I mention a lot. But the truth be told I suck at it. Not with God in my secret place.  I’ve got that down.  But with other people.  I can give the impression of intimacy because I care enough to read and listen to what people think, analyze it, ask questions, and explain exactly how and why I think it is or isn’t true. Yet I rarely go deep into the discomfort of bearing the burdens of others. I rely on Cathy to do that. When people like Jason move on and out of my life it never seems to bother me much.  If I am perfectly honest, one thing I liked most about counseling was that intimacy is forbidden. Most people require years of training in how to avoid it. Not me. I’d have an easier time getting beheaded than weeping with those who weep. And don’t offer me the “man” excuse and blame it on the society in which I was raised. Society has, in my opinion, already overdosed on estrogen and gender is just another excuse. It’s even easier to shut off my emotions in a crisis, call a spade a spade, or remain cool as ice during a disaster. Sure it’s handy if you’re staring down the barrel of a gun or surrounded by spear-wielding Shuar in the Amazon. People always said I was the one guy they would want with them if they were attacked in an alley. The thing is I cried when I heard about Jason and I’m choking back tears now. Only no one knows it, not even my wife. At least not until she read this. Like most people I have all sorts of reasons for being the way I am. You’d probably agree with most of them if I laid them all out. Still, it’s just an excuse.

Somewhere in the course of the trauma that Jesus guaranteed, I made a decision.

I chose to be who I am.

“For when the foolish took their lamps, they took no oil with them, but the wise took flasks of oil with their lamps. As the bridegroom was delayed, they all became drowsy and slept. But at midnight there was a cry, ‘Here is the bridegroom! Come out to meet him.’ Then all those virgins rose and trimmed their lamps.” Mat 25:3-7


Every sermon I have heard on these verses focused on the oil being representative of Holy Spirit. That may be true. Yet the purpose of a lamp is not to store oil. Lamps burn oil to shine light. Biblically speaking, light is representative of truth. I always imagined that “trimming their lamps” meant dimming them to preserve precious oil. However, trimming a lamp involves cutting away the tar and impurities from the wick and shaping it to reduce the smoke and soot that dims the glass and achieve the hottest, cleanest and brightest flame yielding the most light.

Light exposes what is hidden in darkness.

A lot of people are talking about the church today. Why is it so broken, divided, and powerless?  Why are there so many false gospels emerging in Jesus’s name and so many Christians deconstructing in the name of love? Why do so many millennials do “community” so well yet succumb to the most appalling and heretical theologies? The easy response is “because they were never taught.” Hence, I originally began writing and framing the problem based on the history and hypocrisy of the church, its burning of brethren at the stake in Jesus’s name before the Pilgrims sailed for Plymouth rock. I was going to focus on it’s railing against transgenderism today in defiance of Rom 2:1 while celebrating Ishtar, the god of the transgender movement with bunnies and painted eggs in Jesus’ name.  Not because I’m pro transgenderism in the church but because judgment must come first to the house of God. I was going to talk about repentance, that true repentance is rooted in the right belief. Right belief comes from studying oneself approved. True as that may be belief is also rooted in a divine revelation – of Holy spirit conviction. This is what gives us the right to become sons and daughters of the living God. Not knowledge derived from study alone. Interestingly the 5th Step of 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous, a group that is marginalized by many evangelicals today and whose origins can be traced back to the Welsh revival in 1904, is perhaps one of the most biblically sound descriptions of repentance anywhere. After writing out a “fearless and searching moral inventory” of oneself in the 4th step, the 5th step that comes straight out of James 5:16 says that we must admit “to God, ourselves and another human being the exact nature of our wrongs”. Anyone who has done this knows the fear and humiliation that comes with reading every sin you can recollect to another. Ideally you trust the person to whom you confess based on the fact that they have undergone this same humiliating process themselves. Even more interesting is the statement in the Book Alcoholics Anonymous that one’s ultimate ability to abstain from alcohol in the future is contingent upon how thoroughly this step is done. This is consistent with 1 Cor 11:28-30 regarding our participation in Communion or the Lord’s Supper.

“A person should examine himself first, and in this way let him eat the bread and drink of the cup. For the one who eats and drinks without careful regard for the body eats and drinks judgment against himself. That is why many of you are weak and sick, and quite a few are dead.”

Once again the light of the great Oiler, a.k.a. Holy Spirit is shining on me – exposing me, prompting me to repent.  That it was prompted by my friend Jason Oyler is perhaps the irony of God. When Jason left our home it was with a smile on his face and gratitude in his heart. I was mad. I thought we were going to build a ministry together. My pride was hurt and I felt betrayed.  Of course, I never told him how I felt and I certainly didn’t give him reason to believe I wanted to hear his heart. Deep down I knew he was tired of the incessant hammering. I don’t know if I will be able to confess my sin to him so I am confessing to all of you now.

I was selfish, self-centered, prideful and a really bad friend.

There’s a trail of people like Jason strewn in the wake of my laboring for God.

In case you are wondering I am not on the verge of deconstructing, or repenting for being a hammer. I’m just reflecting on why I am a hammer in the first place and maybe recounting the cost. There certainly is a place for not backing down, for not loving one’s life even onto death – especially today. The truth will always be a stumbling block to some. When I hear of celebrated theologians like Dr. Paul Maxwell and so many others who have publicly deconstructed and formally rejected Christianity, my initial reaction is “well I guess he never was one of us.” 1 John 2:19  That’s probably true. Still, I have to wonder. Am I just making excuses for being the way I am? After all, that love covers a multitude of sins especially when loving hurts is as much the truth that Paul wrote, we only “know in part” as is boldly declaring it while haters hurl stones.

Haters hurling stones is never proof in itself that one is right.

Being conformed to His image involves considering these things.

I know that God will show me as I continue to pray and ask Him to “search me” Psalm 139:23-24. Jason and I used to pray that together during Cleansing Stream seminars as we brought our filthy lives before the throne of grace in a more evangelically approved version of the 5th Step. I don’t necessarily agree with their theology now. But one thing is certain. They’ve got James 5:16 down

More truth be told, this past year has been an ongoing cleansing stream for us, a time of deep searching and repentance for both me and Cathy. And while it may not be a twenty six page catalogue of abominations like my first humiliation, it was none the less profound and in many way more powerful. I’m not talking about the typical “oh yeah I did that, sorry God” and move on entitled type of repentance. I’m talking about deep “Oh what a wretched man I am who will save me from this body of death!” repentance. The kind of repentance that makes the fear and humiliation of telling another human your dirt seem absurd. Many in the church believe it shouldn’t apply if you are truly saved. Yet I submit that it is evidence of sanctification and deep calling to deep. A divinely appointed encounter with Acts 2:43 “awe” that more correctly translates to TERROR like one experiences the first time in the ocean when your not a great swimmer, the tide pulls you out and your feet can’t touch bottom. Long story short God showed us where we had been apathetic toward His word in the past and redacted it to make it fit what we wanted it to say like getting married after both being divorced. No we are not going to go all legalistic and try to fix a sin with another sin by divorcing again. But don’t go trying to make excuses for us ether. The words of Jesus are the words of Jesus. It wasn’t as much the physical sins that can most easily be taken before the throne of grace, but rather the flippancy with which we had regarded parts of His word and His commands. It was the kind of repentance where we stood confidently clothed in the righteousness of Christ one minute and the fear of God was upon us in the next. It happened separately and months apart. On one hand, it was the most terrifying experience in which we didn’t know how we could go on. On the other, we were saddened when it’s intensity receded. I say receded because it is still working in us now. In my case, it was a clear view, and recognition of who God is and exactly what I look like in contrast with His Holiness and most importantly apart from the shed blood of Christ. I know it’s all the rage to worship a self-esteem-affirming God today. The “ME in him” God who “chases ME down and fights ’til I’m found” and who erases every bad feeling I might ever have about myself. But I’m not talking about a middle school giddy, glory cloud and gold dust blowing from air ducts to the beat of “No Longer Slaves” kind of encounter.  I am talking about a supernatural revelation of His holy severity without which His grace and love are impossible.  A 1 Cor 3:10-23 dross burning, Heb 12 shaking by the “consuming fire” who’s discipline we dare not refuse!

Exposure Time

Here’s the point. I can not claim to be a missionary let alone a minister of the gospel and not walk my talk. That’s why I’m sharing my faults instead of promoting a false image of super missionary moral perfection in pursuit of a celebrity pulpit. Transparency, confession, and repentance are foundational to not only our faith but our salvation. They are better modeled than preached.  And while I know my friend Jason will probably just smile because love never keeps a record of wrongs, I hope and pray I get the opportunity to repent to his face, to say I’m sorry for taking our friendship, our brotherhood in Christ for granted. I want him to know I am grateful for the lessons God taught me through him and is teaching me now. I know that “God causes all “things” to work together for good for those who love Him and are called according to His purpose.” And while some might argue that those “things” are predestined by God. I can not help but wonder if some might be better if we made different choices along the way and didn’t feel so darn entitled to have God to clean up our mess.

Finally, if we are going to fix what is broken, weak and sick, and dead and bring hope and salvation to a rapidly dying world we have got to begin by dropping our façades. That starts with a concrete, real time practice of James 5:16.

“Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.”

And don’t tell me you don’t have a façade. That’s like smoking a cigarette then telling a former smoker you don’t smoke. Do we want the revival everyone has been praying for and prophesying for years? The only way it will happen is if we are broken before God and each other. And as much as I’d like to frame it in the context of “don’t do this – do that!” I don’t think what is required is going to come by the usual charismatic conjuring or knowledge or any other act of human will but only by the sovereign hand of the God who was crucified for our sin, was resurrected, predestined us for adoption and will judge us in eternity.

That said we can make our hearts willing and we can pray.

Lord let your holiness, severity and the fear of you fall. Shake us Lord. Burn off the dross and grant us the gift of repentance in Jesus’s name.

Please also keep my friend Jason in your prayers.

Maranatha!