Recovering Hearts is a women’s recovery and discipleship program located on the Holston property in Greeneville TN. Cathy and I have the unique privilege of volunteering there. We see a woman individually two or three days a week and run a process group on Fridays. The people in our congregation see them twice a week at church and have occasional opportunities to fellowship with them. Aside from the full-time Recovering Hearts staff, most people do not have the privilege of seeing and hearing their struggles and victories should they choose to endure and overcome them. Sadly many are deceived into quitting just before the breakthrough. From our perspective, those who do overcome have a revelation of Mathew 16:24.

Then Jesus told his disciples, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.

As I’ve said, while I may have been a professional substance abuse treatment counselor by trade and Cathy and I ran a transitional house for prison inmates, our former brokenness is what qualifies us to work with these ladies whom we regard as treasurers of gold. We get to be gold miners digging and panning for gold. Sometimes we liken our being here to Marshal Tucker’s song Fire on the Mountain.

And there’s fire on the mountain
Lightening in the air
Gold in them hills and it’s waiting for me there.

Sometimes fire on the mountain
Lightening in the air looks like an episode of the Jerry Springer Show as sandpaper sisters get triggered amid process group. These tend to be the best and most healing groups of all as they end in personal ownership of issues, disclosing past traumas, and prayer. It’s beautiful to watch in the context of Proverbs 14:4.

Where there are no oxen, the manger is clean, but abundant crops come by the strength of the ox.

Today marks two years since Cathy and I arrived in Greeneville. We’ve met with a lot of women during that time and heard details of trauma beyond anything many people can imagine. Things like being trafficked and chained in basements to be abused by both men and women. Several have been subjected to some of the worst religious abuse by fathers and pastors who just happened to be methheads and pedophiles. It is a sheer miracle that any of them would be willing to trust Jesus. We’ve heard stories of being nailed into wooden boxes to be transported overseas only to be miraculously rescued by the hand of God. Many have been clinically dead from Fentanyl overdoses multiple times. Thus far the record is six before the age of twenty-six. They have been imprisoned and homeless fighting off predators and pimps, beaten nearly to death by husbands and boyfriends they were terrified to leave. They’ve lost children – sometimes forever. Some have shot up friends and lovers with intravenous drugs only to watch them die. Quite often we see that having given in to these requests to shoot up friends produces the kind of guilt that results in suicidal ideation.  And this is just the tip of the proverbial iceberg under which they must persevere each day.

While the community at large often recognizes passion and fervency as these women worship, they may not know the intensity of the battle within as they are asked to submit to God and the leadership He has appointed over them. The struggle to raise one’s hands in submission to God might be a real battle for a woman who’s default definition of submission is being chained to a wall to be brutally beaten and raped. That said, how often do we recognize, let alone appreciate them for the women warriors they are or the intensity of the spiritual battle that accompanies hanging in there for just one more day? It is such an honor and blessing to be part of Recovering Hearts where we get to witness women who refuse to fake it till they make it but are willing to be real so that – and until – they can heal. We think there is so much that the body of Christ could learn from them. Especially those who remain safely hidden behind a facade of a smile, histrionic spirituality, or worldly success. Never have we seen a group so willing to be so honest and so raw and yet so willing to take responsibility for their sins and repent, than the women warriors at Recovering Hearts. We love these women more than they could know. And while this is just a snapshot, we hope that you will know that love as well. 

In case you were wondering what prompted me to write this blog post; it was Summer. If you know her – then you know her. If you don’t, you should. She writes the most amazing poems and spoken word. She asked me if I would post this poem on a blog. And while you might never suspect that such an insightful, wise, loving, gregarious, and talented person might struggle with feeling rejected; she does. All we can say is that if you don’t know Summer and the rest of the women whom we do not have permission to name, then it is you who are missing out. Here is Summer’s poem about the loneliness that comes with dying to self and the courage and perseverance required to begin walking in faith instead of sight.

Til The End of Age

Straight ahead and at the fork turn right
I fear I’ll get lost for the end of the road isn’t in sight.
I question each curve and exit along the way
Wondering which town am I to rest and stay?
A weary traveler running from the dead.
The lost loner seeking God up ahead.
When I first started I was excited for the journey.
Now I’ve grown old, heartbroken, and dirty.
Every step feels like the wrong path to take.
Every decision is the wrong one to make.
But thank God your thoughts are higher than mine.
Your blessings and plans have no time.
When I am broken and defeated within
Your love God, guides me to the very end.

We say “Amen sister!” Mathew 24:13

Maranatha