Brian and Cathy Gray Bible study, Commentary

For The Love Of Pua

A lesson in gardening

Pua
Flower, blossom, tassel and stem of sugar cane; to bloom, blossom. To issue, appear, come forth, emerge, said especially of smoke, wind, speech, and colors, hence to smoke, blow, speak, shine. Progeny, child, descendant, offspring.

Hawaiian Dictionary

Whenever you see a “For the Love of ____” blog, you can be certain I have emerged from a period of examining myself to see if I am in the faith. Am I on the right path Lord? 2 Cor 13:5 We have learned through the years that God periodically tests our faith. James 1:2-4 Everything we do that is anything is for His glory alone. While those who plant and water are not anything. God gives the increase when we are faithful to fulfill our part.

What then is Apollos? What is Paul? Servants through whom you believed, as the Lord assigned to each. I planted, Apollos watered, but God gave the growth. So neither he who plants nor he who waters is anything, but only God who gives the growth. He who plants and he who waters are one, and each will receive his wages according to his labor. For we are God’s fellow workers. You are God’s field, God’s building.

1 Cor 3:5-9

Some know that Cathy and I ran a coed faith based transition home for furloughed inmates on Kauai called Live Again The Walk. Translation: we had 5-10 inmates and sometimes their children living in our home for 12 years. 

Anyone who has engaged in prison ministry knows that the odds of success are stacked against you from the start. Those who fail to understand and embrace the realities of 1 Corinthians 3 usually abandon all hope and move on before the miraculous increase happens. So many inmates that came to our home failed over the years, that I used to joke that we ran a fruitless ministry. Yet the Lord had called us to it and we didn’t have His permission to quit. That’s not to say that we wanted to or that everyone failed. Our first resident loved the lord. He became a successful carpenter and independent contractor with a family before he died. Our second got her master’s degree and now teaches at a High school on Kauai. We had nearly ten years of experience under our belt when Pua arrived.

Pua (a.k.a. Kimberlynn) didn’t want to come to our house at first. As she says, “I was planning to get high.” But the KCCC Warden Neal Wagatsuma had other plans. Pua had to see the judge before she could be released. Neal told her Cathy would be there to pick her up. Pua says she didn’t believe it. Why should she? She’d been homeless for three years before she was arrested. She’d been homeless a lot growing up as a child of addicted parents in Waianae, Hawaii. Waianae is probably the roughest community in the entire state. She suffered the most unspeakable things you can imagine. But Pua is tough. In fact, she was the self-appointed “mayor” of the homeless camp before she went to jail. Apart from one or two prison Bible studies, Pua didn’t know Cathy at all. Imagine her surprise when Cathy turned out to be the first person in the courtroom when Pua arrived. Those who know Cathy will understand when I say,

Pua came home with Cathy. 

Traumatized women require a lot of love, patience, listening, and gentle guidance from those who are willing to take the time to earn their trust. Yet it didn’t take all that long for Pua to allow herself to be planted. She never lied to us, never stole, never drank or did drugs, never became violent, and was never promiscuous. She got saved and filled with Holy Spirit and has been a walking, talking joy bomb ever since. No one loves Mondays like Pua. I promise you will have no greater understanding of joy than if you meet her. That said, follow her on Instagram and tell her we sent you to get joy bombed.

Click here to see how she is 24/7

Like a lot of women fresh out of addiction and criminal lifestyles, Pua’s only real temptation was in the area of relationships. To love and be loved are genuine, valid human needs. And like most women from traumatic backgrounds, Pua had a broken picker when it came to men. So Pua got creative. She used stuffed animals as a coping tool. Bub was her favorite.

Bub

She’d been with us about two years when she came home and confessed that she was attracted to some guy in the community. Romantic relationships were normally forbidden for our residents, but Pua had been with us for a while and we knew it could not last forever. So I investigated. Sure enough, the guy was a stoner and toxic for Pua. I reminded her in my characteristically blunt way,  that her “picker was broken.” I held the stoner’s picture in one hand and Bub in the other. “Seriously?” “He looks exactly like Bub!” I said, “Oh my God!” Pua said.

She dropped the stoner like a rock and kept Bub.

Incidentally, Pua named me Dutch.

That should make perfect sense to anyone who knows me and has seen the movie.

In return, I named Pua “Boove”, after the main character in the Pixar movie Home.

That should also make perfect sense to anyone who knows Pua and has seen the movie.

Today Pua has a boyfriend named Kali. Naturally, I investigated. It turns out he is a solid, spirit-filled, hard-working guy, and perfect for Pua. Cathy and I approve.

Now, you might be wondering what specific kinds of teaching, discipleship, counseling, interventions, etc., we employed to make Pua the person she is. What curriculum did we use? If so then you still don’t get it. Christians everywhere are grasping for false identity called self-esteem while struggling with the reality that he who plants and waters is nothing and that

God chose what is foolish in the world to shame the wise; God chose what is weak in the world to shame the strong; God chose what is low and despised in the world, even things that are not, to bring to nothing things that are, so that no human being might boast in the presence of God

1 Cor 1:27- 29

It continues to amaze me that so much false pride and boasting exists within Christian ministries. It seems that believers everywhere are either vying for a platform or idolizing one.

You can not manualize transformation. As I’ve said,  Cathy and I know what it is to be utterly broken. As I wrote in the previous post, our brokenness is our resume. God comforted us in our affliction. Now we can comfort those in their affliction. 2 Cor 1:4 That’s it. That being said, the closest we have to a manualized formula is contained in Proverbs 3:5-8. We said yes to the Lord, fell in love with Pua, and had a whole lot of fun doing it. Granted she has a slightly different perspective.

Hanae, pronounced (Hana-ay), is the Hawaiian word for adoption. Not just formal legal adoption. Kids can also adopt parents. Like a lot of people with millennial kids, Cathy and I have adult children from whom we are currently estranged. Pua said we had faith? The truth is she had enough faith to trust us even though she didn’t know us “Haoles” (foreigners). Yet she came to live in our home and accepted us as her own despite our previous failures as parents. God knew we needed her to inspire us, to help us persevere and grow amidst rejection by some of those we love most.

Today the Pua to whom we provided a place to be planted and bloom has become the Lord’s increase. She took over our transitional home when Cathy and I left for the foreign mission field. Now, she works for the county of Kauai as the number two person in charge of a program that assists all the homeless on the island. She oversees transitional homes and feeding programs all over Kauai.

So then neither is he that planteth any thing, neither he that watereth; but God that giveth the increase.

1 Corinthians 3:7

As we always say, God calls us to help certain people because He knows it is the best place for us to receive the help that we need. That revelation, if we get it, will squash false pride and enable us to follow Jesus’s command to “Deny Self” and become His disciple.

13 Year Old Elijah

In addition to the transition home where I lived, I also worked as an adolescent substance abuse treatment counselor in a school-based treatment program. It seems like just yesterday that I had a 13-year-old boy named Elijah. God used him to teach me a powerful lesson about mercy, grace, hearing His voice, and that, quite often, He works despite rather than because of what we think and do. It remains one of the most formative experiences in my faith walk with the Lord.

To say that Elijah was a handful is an understatement. I remember looking at him as he was causing trouble in my classroom and thinking, “There is no point! I can’t help this kid. He is destined for jail.” We were scheduled to go on a bi-yearly camping trip, and I did not want to take him. But he begged and pleaded and promised to be good until finally I gave in.”Fine!” I said. “But I’ve got to check your bags.” “Uh…uh…oh-ok…,” Elijah said. It took all of thirty seconds for me to find a bag of weed, a lighter, and a pipe.

“Elijah I trusted you!” I lied.

I didn’t trust that kid as far as I could throw him.

Everything in the code of conduct, every rule I had sworn to uphold told me to turn him into the principal so he could be suspended from school. But I felt an undeniable check in my spirit. It made no sense. But it seemed like the Lord wanted me to take him on the trip.

Seriously Lord?!

So I gave him the “justice, mercy, grace” speech.  Justice – getting what you deserve, Mercy- not getting what you deserve, Grace – getting what you don’t deserve. “Which one do you think you are  getting?” I asked.

“Uh…Grace?” Elijah replied.

I flushed his weed down the toilet smashed his lighter and threw his pipe in the dumpster before loading everyone up and heading off to camp.

My nickname on Kauai at that time was “The Hammer” and or “Warden 2”. Anyone who knew me then could tell you that it went against everything I stood for to let Elijah go on that trip. Boundaries are to be preserved not willfully and flippantly violated. Not only that, but I was putting my most prized commodity on the line: my integrity. Yet, God was clarifying His voice in my spirit along with my faith and obedience to it. That same paradoxical and seemingly contradictory obedience would save our lives more than once when I finally got to the mission field.

As soon as we got to camp Elijah was back to his old defiant and delinquent self. Naturally, I questioned myself,

“Did I really hear God?”

I’ll let you decide.

That was seventeen years ago.

Elijah

Elijah is thirty today. He approached us after I preached a sermon about our spiritual resumes. Going to jail is a huge part of mine. “It’s the legendary Mr. Gray!” he began. “Oh were you in jail too?” Cathy asked. “No!” Elijah said. “Hina Mauka Teen CARE at Kapaa Middle School!”

“Elijah?!!!” I said.

“I think about you all the time.”

“You know”, Elijah began. “You showed me mercy once in a way that really impacted me.” “It was grace.” I thought to myself. “Was it the weed?” I smiled. “Yeah maybe.” He said. “All I remember is that you trusted me and I let you down.” “It was my lowest point,” he said.

“I’ve never forgotten it.”

“Neither have I,” I replied. “You have been part of my testimony for years.”

Elijah didn’t remember the weed or my speech. He had no knowledge of the ethical dilemma in which he had placed me, let alone what God was doing in me. But rather, the imaginary trust that he believed I had in him made him realize the inherent value of being trustworthy. For all intents and purposes,

I was a mere prop in God’s plan.

I’d seen Elijah once in passing since middle school. He was graduating from high school. “Clean and sober!” he’d exclaimed. “I’m going on a mission trip!” I never got to talk to him beyond that. Church leaders at Pukas Ministries on Kauai tell me that Elijah is humble and a genuine servant today.

One thing is certain when it comes to those whose lives I have purposed to touch.  I plant, often without knowing it. Other people water. God gives the miraculous increase.  In the end, Pua and Elijah bloomed like flowers in the field while I wasn’t even looking. Today, they water the seeds of my ever-growing trust and obedience in and to the Lord. Today, they are the Lord’s confirmation that I am indeed walking the path and doing the things that God prepared beforehand, and I should walk in them. Not because He needs me to. But because I get to. Our works are never for our significance but for His glory alone. Given what Cathy and I are about to undertake, all I can say is that “I really and truly needed this!”. It might be the main reason for our trip to Kauai. Pua and Elijah’s growth was never about me. But it was, at the very least, partly for me.  I am so very grateful and blessed that God used them to increase my faith, awe, and appreciation of His goodness, omniscience, and power.

As a father shows compassion to his children, so the Lord shows compassion to those who fear him. For he knows our frame; he remembers that we are dust. The days of man are like grass. He grows like a flower of the field. When the wind blows over it, it is gone. Its place will remember it no more. But the loving-kindness of the Lord is forever and forever on those who fear Him. And what is right with God is given forever to their children’s children,

Psalm 103:13-17

Maranatha

Brian and Cathy Gray Bible study

How for GO

The title is not a typo. It’s Hawaiian pigeon English e.g. “I no more nothing for do!” “Den Go brah!”

Recently our good friend Malia, wife of Kahu (pastor) Jason Kerr of Pukas Ministries on Kauai, asked me to preach on missions.  “Pukas” means “holes” in reference to the holes in Jesus’s wrists and feet on the cross.

Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.”

Mat 28:18-20

“Nations” is Ethnos – “people groups.” It refers to your own neighborhood, not just other countries.

Here’s how for do dat.

And the Lord answered me: “Write the vision; make it plain on tablets, so he may run who reads it. For still the vision awaits its appointed time; it hastens to the end—it will not lie. If it seems slow, wait for it; it will surely come; it will not delay.”

Hab 2:1-2

First, write your detailed sermon. Writing helps to solidify and clarify what the Lord wants to say to and through you. Now save the scripture. Throw the sermon in the trash. Unless, of course, your sermon is a blog. That said, don’t just memorize scripture. Meditate on scripture. Meditate means “to chew” as a cow chews its cud. Chew and digest scripture. Your ability to remember will be a fruit of your meditation.

Compile your Resume


For by the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think with sober judgment, each according to the measure of faith that God has assigned

Rom 12:3

Your resume is not a list of your giftings and accomplishments. It is not a declaration of “why I am the best.” Your resume is compiled out of your brokenness. Today, I minister to dependent, neglected children, addicts, and inmates because I was all of these things. I am an expert in how to wreck my own life. I can tell you about how God can unwreck the most unsalvagable of people and use them for His glory.

I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

2 Cor 12:9

Even Paul boasted of his weakness, not his education and gifting because,

But God chose what is foolish in the world to shame the wise; God chose what is weak in the world to shame the strong; God chose what is low and despised in the world, even things that are not, to bring to nothing things that are, so that no human being might boast in the presence of God

1 Cor 1:27- 29

The purpose of any message or sermon is the glorification of God, not the speaker.

Identify Obstacles.

Before the Fall, Adam and Eve’s entire focus was on God. There was no “Thee and Thou,”  only “Thou.” Self-centeredness was the first fruit of the Fall in Genesis 3. It is our primary obstacle to everything good.

And he said, “I heard the sound of you in the garden, and I was afraid, because I was naked, and I hid myself.” He said, “Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten of the tree of which I commanded you not to eat?”

Genesis 3:10-11

Fast forward, Jesus gives the solution and first criteria for becoming His disciple.

Then Jesus told his disciples, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.

Mat 16:24


Deny is aparnéomai – utterly disown, abstain, to affirm that one has no acquaintance or connection with someone, to forget one’s self, lose sight of one’s self and one’s own interests.

In my opinion, selfishness, and self-centeredness are the root of almost every mental and emotional malady. Selfishness is more for me at the expense of everyone else. Self-centeredness can be everything about me for the benefit of everyone else. Your “GO” message glorifies God or it is worthless deception.

Take the pressure off.

Paul addresses the issue of comparison in 2 Corinthians 10.

But when they measure themselves by one another and compare themselves with one another, they are without understanding.

2 Cor 10:12

Those who insist on praising, promoting, and thereby glorifying the messenger instead of the source are contributing to the future fall of the messenger. Hence Paul writes,

What do you have that you did not receive? If then you received it, why do you boast as if you did not receive it?

1 Cor 4:7

One plants, one waters. Those who plant and water are the same. They are nothing.  Only God gives the increase 1 Cor 3:5-9

Prepare for Go.

I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.

Rom 12:1-2

I have written and spoken endlessly about the biblical path of transformation the purpose of which is that that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect. We are commanded to test everything especially any message that declares “THUS SAITH THE LORD!”

Do not quench the Spirit. Do not despise prophecies, but test everything; hold fast what is good. Abstain from every form of evil.

1 Thessalonians 5:19-22

We test everything by the Word of God, which is our compass, our lens, and the mirror through which we view ourselves, our lives, and the world in which we so temporarily reside. We cannot hope to do so until we have surrendered our entire lives and beings to the God who created and sustains us. 

The next step is to remain in a constant state of delight in the Lord.

Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.

Psalm 37:4

Giving you the desires of your heart does not simply mean giving you what YOU want. It means He makes His desires YOUR desires. We align our mind, will, and emotions, with His such that His desire becomes your desire. This is the next step in “deny self“.

“Deny self” is condensed and summarized in Proverbs 3.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. Be not wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord, and turn away from evil.It will be healing to your flesh and refreshment to your bones.

Prov 3:5-8

Only when you walkout Proverbs 3:5-8 in daily life will you be ready “for Go”.

Identify your lane.

But we will not boast beyond limits, but will boast only with regard to the area of influence God assigned to us, to reach even to you.

2 Cor 10:13

Your lane or The area of influence God assigned to you correlates with your resume. I can confidently boast about being a juvenile delinquent, an addict, and a prison inmate. I can boast of my knowledge of how not to live. I can testify of the blessings that come with surrender to Jesus. My gifts, e.g., counseling, writing, and teaching, are not a product of the almighty “I”. I am the guy whose Special Ed reading teacher declared him “the stupidest boy I ever met!”. My gifts were given by God.  Any scripture I recite or expound upon is a product of Holy Spirit bringing it to remembrance because I delighted myself in Him and acknowledged Him in all my ways. Everyone in Christ has a resume and corresponding gift, and can do the same.


For as in one body we have many members, and the members do not all have the same function, so we, though many, are one body in Christ, and individually members one of another. Having gifts that differ according to the grace given to us, let us use them: if prophecy, in proportion to our faith; if service, in our serving; the one who teaches, in his teaching; the one who exhorts, in his exhortation; the one who contributes, in generosity; the one who leads, with zeal; the one who does acts of mercy, with cheerfulness.

Rom 12:4-8

1 Corinthians 12:8-10 mentions wisdom, knowledge, faith, healing, miracles, prophecy, discerning of spirits, speaking in tongues, and interpretation of tongues.

Que Rompe tu Corazon? – What Breaks Your Heart? Psalm 37:4. How often does the church sing, “break my heart for what breaks yours.” If we pay attention, the people group to which God is calling us is probably the one that breaks our hearts. It could be those in a third-world nation. It could be the family next door. It might be your child. One thing is certain. If you follow the aforementioned steps, you will know for certain. He will confirm it with His peace.

JUMP!

As my high-school soccer goalie coach, Fuji, taught me, “Pay attention. When you see your opponent coming down the field with the ball; watch. When his foot goes backward in preparation to kick the ball, then jump. It’s easier to change direction when you are already moving than it is to get moving and then change direction. Now get the ball!” The same formula applies to missions.

Now GO!

Maranatha