Brian and Cathy Gray Bible study

Are You Haughty?

Live in harmony with one another. Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly. Never be wise in your own sight. 

Romans 12:16 ESV

If we are to understand how to live in harmony with others it behooves us to drill down into the original meaning of “haughty“. The contemporary definition of haughty is arrogantly superior and disdainful both of which imply contempt. The KJV reads, “Mind not high things,” which, as we will see, just might be a more accurate contemporary expression of haughty.

High (Greek)– hypsēlós

Lofty in place or character:–highly esteemed, exalted on high, with an uplifted arm, eminent,  influence, honor, to seek, high things as in honors and riches.

Strongs Concordance

While viewing others with contempt would certainly qualify as haughty, it is not the only defining factor.

There are six things that the Lord hates, seven that are an abomination to him: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked plans, feet that make haste to run to evil, a false witness who breathes out lies, and one who sows discord among brothers.

Proverbs 6:16-19 ESV

Haughty (ESV) or “A proud look” (KJV) in Hebrew is

Ruwm

to be high, to rise or raise, exalt self, extol, set up on, high, hold up, be lofty, promote, proud, set up, breed worms, to be rotten or wormy.

– Theological Wordbook of the Old Testament-

While there are similarities, God’s definition of haughty is deeper than the extreme of contemptuousness or disdain.

If we go deeper we gain more clarity via the polar opposite of haughty in the command to associate ourselves with the lowly. Haughtiness seeks a platform and the esteem of man. Paul counters this in Galatians.

For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servantof Christ.

Galatians 1:10

Taken to the extreme, haughtiness seeks to be idolized and even worshiped. We counter any propensity for haughtiness by going low and slow. We strive to grow down instead of up. Jesus is our ultimate example.

He was despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief; and as one from whom men hide their faces he was despised, and we esteemed him not.

Isaiah 53:3

The final step is to “Never be wise in your own sight”. This is rooted in Proverbs 3.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. Be not wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord, and turn away from evil It will be healing to your flesh and refreshment to your bones.

Proverbs 3:5-8

If I had to choose only one verse to live by this would be it. It is the solution to every problem a believer might face. That said, haughtiness is a root cause of many if not most, social problems. It does not only apply to those who are exalted. It applies to those who desire to be exalted. It can even apply to those who exalt others.

What do you mean?

Isn’t exalting people a way to honor them?

There are a couple of very famous evangelists whom Cathy and I knew before they became platformed and exalted within the charismatic stream. Cathy cringes when I name them, so I won’t. She cringes because, too often, my naming a famous name looks like self-exaltation in today’s world.

“Seriously Brian!? You actually know blankety – blank – blank?!” 

Trust me, I am not self-promoting. Heck, I know them apart from fake celebrity versions of themselves. Rather the issue at hand is that so many people engage in vicarious self-promotion.

“I must be important if I know someone important”.

It follows that I might be viewed as worth knowing by those with a desire to be esteemed and exalted themselves. Please don’t misunderstand. There is nothing inherently wrong with honoring someone famous, provided you aren’t honoring them because they are famous and you bestow equal honor upon the one who cleans the toilet in your church. It is for this reason that Paul the Apostle described himself as

the filth of the world- the offscouring of all things unto this day.

1 Corinthians 4:13

Mind you, he was not referring to his identity in Christ. He was referring to his place in the world and perhaps the earthly-minded carnal church. This is the essence of the IRIS Global adage,

“Low and and Slow”

And I heard a loud voice in heaven, saying, “Now the salvation and the power and the kingdom of our God and the authority of his Christ have come, for the accuser of our brothers has been thrown down, who accuses them day and night before our God.

Revelation 12:10

Even deeper, consider that the word Accuse is katḗgoros the Greek word from which the English word categories is derived. It appears to highlight the root of the issue of haughtiness and perhaps the reason why it is mentioned first in the list of things God hates. Haughtiness divides us into categories based on alleged worth. Those promoted by various forms of media as celebrities are viewed as be inherently worth more than those who clean your toilet at church. That celebrity minster idolized by the masses is actually lower than the toilet cleaner.

Minister is huperetes – “under rower.” as in the slaves chained to benches and forced to row below deck on ancient warships.

– Strongs Concordance –

We may want to believe otherwise. But ask yourself this question. What would excite you more, a dinner invitation from your church janitor? Or the same invitation from Bill Johnson or Heidi Baker? Or maybe Paul Washer or Voddie Baucham if you’re not a charismaniac. In either case, this is where we find the true root of haughtiness.

Meditate on that…

Maranatha

Brian and Cathy Gray Bible study

Be Still

Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them. 

Romans 12:14

How often have I read this verse and others like it, thinking, “Yes, of course.” It’s easy to bless and not curse when we are at peace. It is an entirely different matter in the face of perceived unrighteousness and or injustice.

Just to be clear…


Bless – eulogéō (Greek) to praise, celebrate with praises, consecrate a thing with solemn prayers, to ask God’s blessing on a thing.

Curse – kataráomai (Greek) to curse, doom, imprecate evil upon.

Strongs Concordance

Amir Tsarfati is a Messianic Jew (a Jewish Christian). He describes himself as a “Believer | Husband | Father | Bible Teacher | Best Selling Author| Conference Speaker | Middle East News Commentator | Founder and President of Behold Israel…” I follow him on Telegram because he lives in Israel and is, in my opinion, the best source for Middle Eastern news involving Israel. Millions of Christians around the world follow him across multiple social media channels. While I disagree with his pretribulation of rapture eschatology, the fact remains that Israel is the proverbial canary in the coal mine regarding the events and timing of the current Aeon.

Amir is, in many ways, brilliant when it comes to Israel in Old Testament prophecy.  His brotherly love for his Jewish brethren and fellow believers is apparent to all his followers. Still, I have never seen anything that even remotely resembles prayer for his enemies. Rather he celebrates the demise of the “demon-possessed” killers of his people.

I say this by way of observation, not judgment.

I am a former US Marine and my sympathetic nervous system is hard-wired to fight more than it is to flee or freeze. Hence I am well acquainted with the overwhelming desire and impetus

“to locate, close with and destroy the enemy by fire and maneuver, or repel the enemy assault by fire and close combat.“

Marines.mil

I felt that same impetus when the Al Asqa Flood perpetrated against Israel by Hamas took place in October 2023. Not long after I watched some Israeli troops repeatedly running over a member of Hamas with a military Humvee. And while I was disturbed at that lack of humanity displayed by the Israelis, I wasn’t nearly as enraged as I was at Hamas.  I found this to be especially interesting because individual Jews who reject Jesus are no different in God’s eyes than individual members of Hamas who reject Jesus. Mark 16:16  I bolded individual because the land of Israel and the organization called Hamas are not the same in God’s eyes. Hamas, which means “violence” in Hebrew is and will be destroyed. See Zephaniah 2 for a deep dive into this subject.

In this post, we are talking about the human propensity to rage toward self-righteous violence when we are sufficiently triggered.

Stand in awe, and sin not: commune with your own heart upon your bed, and be still. Selah

Psalm 4:4

The ESV and other versions translate “awe” as “anger”. Still, it’s deeper than that.

Awe
Ragaz (Hebrew) to quiver with any violent emotion, especially anger or fear :–be afraid, disquiet, fall out, fret, move, provoke, quake, rage, shake, tremble, trouble, be wroth.

Strongs Concordance

It seems that the correct response to emotional disquiet in any form, especially anger or fear, is stillness.

I would so far as to say that all anger is rooted in fear. Think about it. Fear is not a thing. Fear is the absence of faith. Faith can only be lacking where we are unsure of the truth. We can be sure of the truth to the extent that we have been transformed by the truth. Hence, Paul highlights our unmitigated anger as one of the devil’s primary tools in warring against the kingdom of heaven.

Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another. Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil.

Ephesians 4:25-27

Still, I always say, “Don’t fake it till you make it. Be real till you heal.” As I ponder Amir Tsarfati’s hatred for Hamas and their Palestinian supporters, I do so with the clear understanding that not only would I have cursed Hamas, but I probably would have shot, stabbed, blown up, and killed every member of Hamas any way that I could have had I been present during the Al Asqa Flood. To be honest, there is a part of me that wants to celebrate their obliteration now. Granted, my spirit man confronts my flesh with a clear knowledge of Biblical truth. But I have yet to be fully transformed and conformed to the image of God’s Son. Given the right circumstances, I am as capable of killing my neighbor as both Israel and Hamas. The fact that so many Christians are like me in that they abide by what scripture says in most but not all circumstances doesn’t help. Hence it is amidst the most controversial, hot-button topics that we must put away falsehood and speak the truth to our neighbor, for we are members of one another. How many of us listen to errors or even blatant heresy and never say a word because the truth isn’t politically correct? After all, it might spark anger or resentment in one of our siblings in Christ. Are we afraid of offending?

Or are we afraid that we might become angry and sin in response?

Both cases, are equally wrong.

My admittedly unbiblical response to Hamas is an extreme example with which a lot of believers empathize. But what if the matter is not so extreme? What if a brother or a leader in your church is behaving unbiblically? Will you approach the person and speak the truth to them? Or will you resign yourself to commiseration (to estimate falsely) with others who will sympathize and reinforce your perspective?   If we do give correction is it fully in line with the scripture? Or do we proclaim, “Vengeance is mine, saith the lord!”. Do we bless them in speech all the while relishing the thought of burning coals pouring down on their head?”  Thankfully, I have learned through the years that identifying my own hypocrisy is the first step in transformation. For example, I have a pastor friend who refuses to own a gun because in his own words,

“I would not even hesitate to shoot someone!”

“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven. For he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust. For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? And if you greet only your brothers, what more are you doing than others? Do not even the Gentiles do the same? You therefore must be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect.

Mathew 5:43-48

I have grown in so many ways since the day I first said yes to Jesus and offered my body as a living sacrifice. Still, one thing is certain. When I take an experiential deep dive into verses like Romans 12:14, I am confronted with the stark contrast between my wishful thinking and reality. My lack of progress toward the holiness and perfection required by Jesus is staggering at times. 

Lord help me! 

I don’t know if it is historical fact or Mel Gibson’s imagination, but it seems that the correct response to persecution, violence, or any other perceived injustice that sparks fear and then anger within us must flow from a place of stillness as modeled by Jesus before Pontius Pilate and Caiaphas in the Passion of the Christ.

It may also be worth considering the role of prayer in entering that unalterable place of stillness. What was Jesus feeling, and what was he tempted to do as He sweat drops of blood while He prayed in the Garden of Gethsemane just before His arrest?

This discussion will become increasingly relevant in the next chapter.  This week let’s examine the areas of our lives where we continually fail to,

Be Still.

Maranatha.

Brian and Cathy Gray Bible study, Commentary, Tennessee

Blink

Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good. Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor. Do not be slothful in zeal, be fervent in spirit, serve the Lord. Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer. Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality.

Romans 12:9-13

The older I get the faster time goes. Yesterday I was a very broken 16 year old. I blinked and I’m pushing 60. The older I get the more I appreciate the depth and purpose of the lessons God teaches me through experience.

Paul is describing the character and qualities of a genuine Christian in Romans 12:9-13. I don’t think the qualities he names can be defined, let alone understood through academic study alone. Rather they must be learned in the context of being transformed and conformed to the image of God’s Son via experiences that God uses to teach us. Given that marriage is the paradigm by which we can best comprehend the relationship between Christ and His church, it’s no coincidence that the qualities Paul names in Romans are also key to a successful marriage. The only valid competition between believers and spouses is in honoring the other. Otherwise, the wife submits to her husband. The husband gives himself up for his wife. Eph 5:22-27 Each submits to the other, thereby growing closer to the other and, by extension, to God.

Blink

Cathy and I met on Kauai twenty-one years ago. February 5th marks twenty truly wonderful years of marriage.

Words cannot describe the genuineness of my love for Cathy. I would go so far as to say that she has taught me what genuine love is. If you told me twenty-two years ago that I was going to marry the most beautiful woman I could ever imagine I would have told you are full of something other than hope.

Blink

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 

2 Corinthians 12:9

As I like to say, God pruned me down to a stump and fittingly gave me a job planting trees.  I was living in my van and emerging from my own brokenness while starting a men’s recovery ministry when I met Cathy in our church. A decade before, the Lord gave her a heart for the incarcerated and a vision for prison ministry. One day, she asked a mutual friend who provided bibles for the local jail how she could get into the jail to minister to the female inmates. He pointed across the room and said,

“Go talk to that guy.”

“That guy” was me.

Cathy and I began going to the jail as ministry partners the following week. Neither one of us was looking for a relationship at the time. Her serial adulterer ex-husband had tried to kill her by choking her at 3am two years before. My serial adultress ex-wife had left me three years earlier. She later died of an opiate overdose. In any case, we quickly became the best of friends. Cathy said I talked better than any of her girlfriends.

Cathy was tougher than any man I knew.

The first recreational activity we did together was a 16-mile round-trip hike to Hanakoa Valley and back on the Kalalau Trail. For the sake of context, the Sierra Club has assigned the Kalalau Trail a difficulty rating of 9 out of 10. Cathy was ten days into a fast when we did it. I remember thinking to myself, “Now this is a woman I can hang out with!”  I’d recently Kayaked the Napali Coast on a group tour with a woman partner who refused to paddle. I paddled her dead weight the entire 17 miles. Unbeknownst to me at the time, my friend was trying to set me up with her. Suffice it to say, I was as disgusted as I was exhausted by the end of the trip. The last thing I needed in my life was some high-maintenance, wannabe princess who thought weakness made her attractive. 

Cathy I were married  nine months later.

But, as it is written,“What no eye has seen, nor ear heard, nor the heart of man imagined, what God has prepared for those who love him“

1 Corinthians 2:9

Blink

As I look back over the last twenty years, it is abundantly clear that I have learned the most about Romans 12:9-13 within the context of our marriage. We have faced some hard situations through the years. We have remained unified as one flesh through it all.

We both knew we were called to missions before we were married. That mission began with a coed faith-based transition home for furloughed inmates. We lived with 5-10 inmates and sometimes their children for twelve years.

Then God released us to the foreign mission field. We were standing on opposite sides of our bed when we looked at each other and said,

It’s time.

Do not be slothful in zeal took on a whole new meaning!

We were preparing to head to Honduras when the Lord spoke to Cathy. “We are getting ahead of God.” She said. Long story short, I listened and God pointed us to Harvest School. He eventually led us to Honduras. But He had work to do in both of us first.

Do not quench the Spirit. Do not despise prophecies, but test everything; hold fast what is good. Abstain from every form of evil.

1 Thessalonians 5:19-22

I am one to test everything, especially prophetic words. One prophecy in two parts, has been proven valid over time. It was given by a fellow student during our Harvest School in Mozambique. The first part was that our walk together would be like rock hopping across a river. We would hop from one rock to another and wait for the next one to appear. Some of that waiting would be longer than we expected. Check! The second part was a vision of the two of us scaling a cliff.

Each would take turns leading while the other would be on belay. Check! God always leads us together. Sometimes I get the vision first. Sometimes Cathy gets it. We have learned to trust that the other hears clearly. We don’t move until God confirms His word in both of us. It has been amidst the climb more than the river crossing that we have grown in our understanding of

Do not be slothful in zeal, be fervent in spirit, serve the Lord. Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer.

Blink

Nualolo Vista then and now

Nualolo
A fluttering blaze, a strong place, a ladder, or a bridge.

Hawaiian Dictionary

The Nualolo trail is another one of our favorite hikes on Kauai. It’s just short of an eight-mile round trip, mostly through a rainforest. The first leg is marked by a 2500 ft drop in elevation over the course of 4 miles. To say the trail is muddy and slippery is an understatement. Twenty years ago, I ran it. It’s been nearly 15 years since Cathy and I last hiked it together. We thought nothing of hiking it again on this trip.

Boy were we surprised. We were as tired and sore when we arrived at the Vista as we used to be at the end of the hike.

There’s an inside joke to this photo

We still had nearly 4 miles to go. Most of that was straight up. We spurred one another on Rejoicing in hope. “Let’s imagine we are on the Appalachian trail with five hundred miles to go instead of three,” Cathy said.

I was in pain. Cathy was in pain. She was so tired that she could barely manage a slow shuffle at the end. We wondered if we were fighting off a cold or a virus of some sort. At one point I thought I might have to carry her. Still, we were patient in tribulation, and constant in prayer. “Thank you Jesus for strenghting us!” “Thank you for the pain. May we identify with your suffering as you carried the cross for our salvation” It was nearing dark and I was tempted to fear. After all, people, die in the mountains of Kauai. But she pushed through it. We pushed through it. “Good job honey! I am proud of you.” I said as we finally approached the car.

“I think I need to go to the hospital.” She said.

She didn’t. Still, it occurred to me that this might have been our last hike on the Nualolo trail. There are a lot of lasts along the way – lots of transitions in this vapourous life on earth. We deny it when we are young. Alas, understanding comes with the length of days. Job 12:12 The truth is that we never know where or when those lasts will be. On the other hand there have been many times when we thought a chapter was closed, only to have God say,

“HA! Not so fast.

While I suspect that God has more to reveal, Nualolo was a ladder or a bridge – a leaving behind what is past and stepping into a new chapter with the Lord. It was a strong place in that we were forced to abandon our previous reliance on our youthful agility, toughness, and strength and instead prayerfully depend on the Lord for every step. It was a newfound depth of His strength, a fluttering blaze instead of a roaring fire, rooted in patience instead of explosive power. It was painful and confusing in real time.

It is now beautiful in retrospect.

Life is often like that.

Now that we are back in Greeneville we are prepping to do yet another thing we thought we were done doing. We are opening a transitional home on Mary’s farm previously known as The Glory Farm. This time, Cathy was in the lead, and I was on belay. Three years ago she said, “I feel like we are going to be on a farm. Someone is going to ask us to live on the land as caretakers.” “I don’t see it, but ok,” I said. Shortly after that, we met Mary. She saw Cathy and I doing something with the Recovering Hearts women on her farm. “I don’t see it, but ok,” I said. The Lord had some things to teach Mary and others. Two years later, Bradley, our CEO at Holston, called me into his office and told me that Holston had been given charge of the farm. He said he asked the Lord and saw Cathy and me running whatever it was to become. “It’s funny you should say that,” I replied. “I’ve heard this before. “I don’t see it but we will be obedient to the Lord.” “Just pray about it.” He said. I did. The Lord spoke to my heart a few months later.

“Honey I think we might have to open a house for the Recovering Hearts women,” I said.

There is lots of work to be done. But April 1st is the target opening date for a transitional home called

“The Garden”

We will be moved out of our current home on March 1st, which is the exact day we moved in three years ago.

3/1/2022

The story of the Garden is already bracketed by more testimonies than I can fit here. Suffice it to say that Cathy and I will embark on another chapter in our marriage and journey with the Lord. While other believers will inevitably seek to honor us, and we hope that we will model what we have learned thus far, we know beyond a shadow of a doubt that God has us on this particular path because it is the best way to grow our understanding and obedience to His call to

Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good. Love one another with brotherly (and spousal) affection. Outdo one another in showing honor. Do not be slothful in zeal; be fervent in spirit, and serve the Lord. Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer. Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality.

Some Biblical doctrines and principles must be studied. Others can only be learned through experience and practice. Some can be modeled. We hope that we can model Romans 12:9-13 for the women at Recovering Hearts. As for The Garden itself, this is our vision thus far. Stay tuned.

Maranatha