Be watchful, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong. 1 Cor 16:13
How many are aware that Biblical manhood has been under attack for decades? While the most recent roots of this phenomenon are decidedly Marxist, (see Expose What?) the fact remains that multiple generations of men are confused. Many are so confused that they don’t know they are confused.
Given that I was an adolescent in the 1970’s I can remember clearly when the controversy over manhood first emerged. Before that decade, boys were raised to endure pain. I remember being told, “Big boys don’t cry”. Not because we didn’t have feelings or that feelings were bad. But rather because the call to self-control is the call to manhood which is a hero’s journey.
As the Frankfurt School’s Critical Theorists rolled out their neo-Marxist agenda using radical feminism as a catalyst in the early 70s, men were increasingly framed as oppressors instead of protectors. I distinctly remember my mother reading an article in Cosmopolitan magazine stating one radical feminist’s view that “all male babies should be killed at birth.” While I never succumbed to it, I remember feeling pressured to feel guilty for being male.
Fast forward to the 1980s with T.V. shows like Married With Children and the 90s with The King of Queens and men went from being cast as oppressors to buffoons. The compulsion to feel guilty turned to shame for being born male.
Masculinity by contemporary cultural standards today is nothing other than mental illness.
Given that we now have somewhere between one hundred and one thousand imaginary genders, it should be no surprise that masculinity has been subdivided into hyper, hegemonic, complicit, marginalized, toxic, and subordinate masculinities. I am sure there is more…
Garbage!
If you are interested in the definitions of this absurdity then by all means research them yourself. As for me, I am a biblical man. I’ll die on that hill.
What is Biblical Manhood?
I teach the boys whom I serve at the children’s home that the primary difference between a man and a boy is self-control. Self-control is a fruit of the spirit. Gal 5:22-24 Self-control applies to every fleshly impulse, especially anger. Men who are easily overtaken by what the Bible calls fits of anger or fits of rage Gal 5:19-22 might be saved and loved by God, but they have yet to attain anything resembling mature manhood. Eph 4:11-16
Wait a minute. Didn’t Jesus rage when he made a whip and drove the money changers out of the temple? Mat 21:12-17, Mark 11:15-19, Luke 19:45-48, John 2:13-16
Only John states that Jesus made a whip which only implies that the emphasis is not the whip. Nowhere does it say that Jesus raged let alone whipped any human being. I see Jesus as uncompromising and assertive, not hostile and aggressive. Given that Jesus is God it would be pretty safe to assume that His behavior never once departed from the nine fruits of the spirit. He may have been angry, but He didn’t sin.
We are called to be like Jesus. Rom 8:29
but as he who called you is holy, you also be holy in all your conduct, since it is written, “You shall be holy, for I am holy.” And if you call on him as Father who judges impartially according to each one’s deeds, conduct yourselves with fear throughout the time of your exile, 1 Pet 1:15-17
The Bible is full of verses regarding the importance of self-control concerning anger. Here are just a few.
Be angry, and do not sin; ponder in your own hearts on your beds, and be silent. Selah Psalm 4:4
Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, Eph 4:26
Be not quick in your spirit to become angry, for anger lodges in the heart of fools. Ecc 7:9
A rebuke from a friend is sweeter than kisses from an enemy. Prov 27:6
A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. Prov 15:1
A hot-tempered man stirs up strife, but he who is slow to anger quiets contention. Prov 15:18
Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God. James 1:19-20
Whoever is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit than he who takes a city. Prov 16:32
Make no friendship with a man given to anger, nor go with a wrathful man, lest you learn his ways and entangle yourself in a snare. Prov 22:24-25
For an overseer, as God’s steward, must be above reproach. He must not be arrogant or quick-tempered or a drunkard or violent or greedy for gain, Titus 1:7
It is in the context of true Biblical Manhood that genuine Love is modeled. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. 1 Cor 13:4-8
I have observed that men prone to fits of rage tend to minimize, justify, and or rationalize their lack in one or more of the bolded areas above. This is one root of religious abuse. Many maintain a facade of kindness and holy self-control while in public. Then they explode when those who might hold them accountable are not present. Defenseless women and or children often receive the brunt of their anger.
Perhaps the most pure and genuine expression of biblical manhood is found in our relationships with women and children. Not just the women and children in our families, but all women and children. After all, Religion that is pure and undefiled before God the Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world. James 1:27
Ironically it is within the rite of passage from boyhood to manhood where the capacity to harm another is established that patience, kindness, the desire and ability to honor others, self-control, and the inner drive to protect are formed. If that seems confusing then consider how many adolescent boys punch holes in walls. It is only through the comprehension that we can harm that we develop a healthy fear that we might harm. Hence it is the fear of losing control of our own power that provides an initial spark of self-control. Self-control brings with it the recognition that we have a capacity and therefore a responsibility to protect those weaker than ourselves. We begin as boys dependent on our parents for protection. Then one day we realize that if someone comes through the door with the intent to harm others it is up to us to stop them. No one else is coming. This revelation may be literal or proverbial. Unfortunately, most traditional rites of passage have been lost. This is especially true in a society that begrudges masculinity. What may have been intended to soften men and create a more peaceful society has backfired. We now have legions of insecure uninitiated boys in men’s bodies without a higher purpose and something to prove. Instead of fully stepping into their roles as priests, providers, and protectors of those called by God to birth the bearers of His image, these uninitiated men are compelled to compete with and subsequently view women as a threat. Having never embraced and understood their own power to harm, they lack an awareness of how intimidating and even terrifying their fits of rage may be to a weaker vessel especially a woman or a child.
Given the neo-Marxist and therefore satanically induced competition between men and women in our society I should probably qualify the term “Weaker Vessel” 1 Pet 3:7 “Weaker Vessel” does not mean “inferior vessel”. Peter is clear. We are to honor them as the weaker vessel since they are heirs with us. Proverbially speaking, we honor the weaker vessels as we would fine china instead of treating them like cast iron frying pans.
At this point, the missing rite of passage can only be fulfilled by deep repentance. Having terrified or harmed those he is called by God to nurture and protect, he must stand accountable before God and man. The hero’s journey now looks like a willingness to humbly own and embrace any hard truth that is presented about himself. He must remove any permission he has given himself to lash out in a fit of rage. He must resolve to be patient, gentle, and self-controlled even when it hurts. Even when it is unfair. It is within this process that the transformation of the uninitiated inner child takes place and the flesh-driven man steps into biblical manhood as a priest, provider, and protector within his family and his community.
Be one who calms the storms in people’s lives instead of the storm itself. Mark 4:35-41
Be watchful, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong. Let all that you do be done in love. 1 Cor 16:13-14