Brian and Cathy Gray Bible study, Red Pill Diaries

Does Integrity Matter?

Paul v.s. Felix

Paul visits the beloved Ephesian elders in Mielitus. He tells them it is the last time he will see them and they weep. He reminds them of his impeccable integrity in fulfilling the mission the Lord had given them.

I did not shrink from declaring to you anything that was profitable, and teaching you in public and from house to house, testifying both to Jews and to Greeks of repentance toward God and of faith in our Lord Jesus Christ. 

Acts 20:21
Therefore I testify to you this day that I am innocent of the blood of all, for I did not shrink from declaring to you the whole counsel of God. 

Acts 20:26-27

Paul appears to be referencing his obedience to Ezekiel 3.

If I say to the wicked, ‘You shall surely die,'and you give him no warning, nor speak to warn the wicked from his wicked way, in order to save his life, that wicked person shall die for his iniquity, but his blood I will require at your hand. But if you warn the wicked, and he does not turn from his wickedness, or from his wicked way, he shall die for his iniquity, but you will have delivered your soul. 

Ezekiel 3:18-19

Paul then warns them of wolves and twisted teachers that would arise from among them.

In Acts 22 Paul establishes his integrity before his accusers first by declaring his credentials and his obedience to the law up to and including the persecution of Christians. He declares and owns this error that was confronted and corrected by Jesus. He does not back down when faced with the same persecution he had previously perpetrated on others.  Paul’s persecution continues in Acts 23.

And looking intently at the council, Paul said, “Brothers, I have lived my life before God in all good conscience up to this day.” 

Acts 23:1

The high priest responds by ordering those close by to punch Paul in the face. Paul responds by calling a spade a spade, referring to the high priest as a “whitewashed wall.” His assessment was correct. Yet Paul’s eyesight was poor and he immediately repented the moment he learned he had unwittingly addressed the high priest.

“Why would he repent?”

Paul didn’t change his opinion about the high priest. Paul repented because of his own integrity. He repented because, “it is written ‘You shall not speak evil of a ruler of your people.'” Paul’s respect was not directed toward the high priest. His repentance was in obedience to the Lord who was sending him on to Rome.

In Acts 24 Paul is brought before Felix the Roman governor. The Jews remained relentless in wanting him dead. Paul simply defends his integrity and begins the conclusion of his testimony with,

"So I always take pains to have a clear conscience toward both God and man."

Acts 24:16
‘It is with respect to the resurrection of the dead that I am on trial before you this day.’” 

Acts 24:21

Felix and his licentious wife Drucilla protect Paul and give him a haven in a modified prison with privileges. It occurs to me that Paul had the most peace and security during the two years he spent there. Still, Felix was corrupt and had no integrity. He just wanted Paul to bribe him and would eventually face what amounted to corruption charges in Rome.

Integrity
Integrity the quality of being honest, having strong moral principles, and maintaining consistency in character, often described as doing the right thing even when no one is watching. It also refers to a state of being whole, undivided, or complete. Synonyms include honesty, honor, probity, rectitude, and wholeness.

-AI synopsis from six dictionaries-

Mental Fragmentation is the opposite of integrity.  Oxford Academic describes Fragmentation as,

A concept where the overall belief system is split into multiple, sometimes contradictory, sub-states rather than one unified whole.

James describes fragmentation as a double-minded man who is unstable in all his ways.

In any case, integrity seems pretty important to God. That brings me to today.

Just this past week I had two Zoom calls scheduled with people I do not know. I completely rearranged my day around them. I set alarms so as to make absolutely certain that I would remain true to my word. One person ghosted me. The other was kind enough to message me one minute before the call was scheduled,

“Sorry. Something came up.”

For some reason this week several friends have shared their frustration with the absence of integrity of believers. People who were supposed to be at such and such a place and such and such a time and weren’t and won’t even acknowledge this is problematic. People who borrowed things and returned them broken. Others did not return what they borrowed at all. Granted, emergencies happen. But that does not apply in any of these situations. 

A lack of integrity does.

At work, people often don’t show up or show up late without even making a call to say they are going to be late. So what if the overnight person wants to go home? So what if it disrupts the lives of at least twelve other people. 

The sheer volume and frequency of these kinds of events lead me to wonder if integrity was never taught or if people simply don’t care. In all these cases the message is clear.

My time is valuable. Your time is not.

At first, I was tempted to become angry. “They’re just self-centered undisciplined spoiled brats!” That quickly transformed to, “We’ll, Jesus didn’t trust people.” John 2:24-25 Then finally, 

Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 

1 Corinthians 13:4-7

I decided to not be convinced that these people are in any way malicious or intentionally inconsiderate. What I see is fragmentation. After all, what is so complicated or hard about

saying what you mean and doing what you say?

While my primary experience is with those in the church, fragmentation seems to every where and growing. Could this be why so many are consumed understanding their own identities?

Paul never wavered or faltered after he encountered Jesus. He knew what he saw and was told. He remained unmoved by flattery or flagellation. He knew God’s word, obeyed it and fulfilled his God-ordained mission. Why are contemporary believers so fragmented?

I did some digging.

Multiple online sources cite the cause of extensive psychological fragmentation within our society as the combined pressures of digital overstimulation, chronic trauma/stress, and a fast-paced, “fad-oriented” modern lifestyle that prevents deep integration of experiences.

  • The average person engages with constant stimuli (96+ smartphone checks daily), creating a fractured, perpetually divided attention span that is often engineered for engagement rather than focus.
  • Modernity causes people to adopt multiple, often contradictory identities (e.g., work, social media, family) rather than maintaining a unified, stable sense of self.
  • When emotional pain is too high to process, people may utilize “splitting” or dissociation as a survival tool, breaking their psyches into fragments that hold pain or fear.
  • Economic, political, and rapid technological innovations prevent the formation of a cohesive, stable, or unified life experience.
  • The decline of traditional social structures, such as religion and stable communities, leaves a void that increases feelings of disorientation.

This fragmentation leads to feelings of disassociation, confusion, and disconnection from the self.

People aren’t just disconnected from others. They are disconnected from themselves. In that context, failing to keep an online appointment carries the same emotional charge as choosing not to pick up one’s phone. 

What’s the beg deal?!

COVID 19

Given that the perceived lack of integrity seems more prevalent among younger people, I wondered about the effects of COVID-19 lockdowns and if there were any contributing factors. Once again I drilled down into multiple online sources. As it turns out,

COVID-19 lockdowns caused widespread psychological fragmentation, characterized by a loss of familiar routines, social isolation, and heightened anxiety. This “uncanny” disruption fractured the sense of time and self, resulting in elevated rates of depression, stress, and unprocessed trauma. Key factors included the loss of social connection, economic uncertainty, and a persistent fear of infection.

  • Temporal Distortion: The blurring of daily routines caused individuals to lose the ability to differentiate between days, disrupting personal memory and perceived time.
  • Loss of Familiarity: The disappearance of daily rituals and familiar social interaction created a “sense of the uncanny” and a fragmentation of the known world.
  • Social and Emotional Detachment: Extensive loneliness and social isolation, particularly among youth and older adults, drove a spike in anxiety, stress, and depressive symptoms.

Still, there is a part of me that wonders if I am simply making excuses for sin. Am I making excuses for people because excuses like trauma and COVID lockdowns are so much more palatable than calling out the fact that people do not fear God. The pursuit of holiness has become ancillary. The word sin if it is mentioned at all is usually a hasty generalization. Meanwhile decades of sexual sin and abuse are being exposed. Why would I hope for, let alone expect integrity in a culture that protects predators and persecutes their victims?

Am I wrong?

“Help me Lord to see the best, hope and believe the best!”

Almost invariably He shows me yet another worldly abomination masquerading as truth faith. Buckle up. The government has allegedly been briefing certain pastors regarding a pending Alien contact disclosure.

Jesus made a whip.

It occurs to me and concerns me that the world as we know it has not returned to normal, whatever that was, since the end of 2021. On one hand, I believe I have an idea of where we are on the biblical timeline, that we have stepped into a period of Matthew 24:4 and 2 Thessalonians 2:11 planáō which is deception and delusion. On the other hand, the increase in deception and delusion should apparent regardless of whether or not you believe in Bible prophecy.

The complete absence of integrity among our current elected officials who have done none of what they promised to do but have exposed themselves as part of what is being called the “Epstein Class” is just the start. Apparently pedophilia and cannibalism are the new normal. Meanwhile, they have started a war that could result in two to four billion people starving to death over the next decade. While Africa and the rest of the world face the greatest risk, Keir Starmer just announced the possible need for food rationing in the UK. Just as some posulated that COVID lockdowns were by design as evidenced in part by the increased economic and political power gained by the so-called Epstein Elite, many suspect that the war with Iran is a similar ploy to cull the world’s population through starvation and war. The discussion is not new and has been ongoing since Thomas Galton invented Eugenics in 1883, followed by a slew of Racial Hygienists, like Margaret Sanger whose founding of Planned Parenthood, at the turn of the last century inspired Adolf Hitler. Paul R. Ehrlich’s 1968 book, The Population Bomb, inspired people like Bill Gates and other technological elites such as Elon Musk, Sam Altman, Peter Thiel, and Pavel Durov, to name a few who believe that only their own bloodlines are worthy of propagation. I could go on. Suffice it to say, that while we should, “Occupy (do business) till He comes.“, Luke 19:13, we should also 

Be sober, watchful for our enemy prowls around like a lion seeking whom he might devour. 

1 Peter 5:8

In my view, we should be prepared for the coming crisis including situations not unlike those that were faced by Jesus, Paul, and all the other disciples. After all the Bible promises persecution, not prosperity. Preparation begins with character not bunkers, supply hoarding, and guns.

Integrity is non-negotiable in a crisis. If I can’t count on you to show up for a phone call, let alone conform your thoughts and behavior to the word of God, amid relative prosperity and comfort, how will I or anyone else for that matter, count on you when the going gets tough? In the words of Jeremiah, 

“If you have raced with men on foot, and they have wearied you,
    how will you compete with horses?
And if in a safe land you are so trusting,
    what will you do in the thicket of the Jordan? 

Jeremiah 12:5

The simple answer is we won’t. I for one am actively distancing myself from anyone I can’t trust or count on. I don’t care how loud you sing, or how much you weep in worship if your word is garbage.

How will you be faithful to God if you lie to man?

Does that sound harsh? Maybe. Yet it occurs to me that Paul never minced words or pulled punches. His uncompromising pursuit of truth above all things underpinned his integrity. Paul knew that love and truth cannot be divorced. Of course it also caused people, especially people of faith to want him dead. He could have walked away at any time after his arrest in Rome. Instead he maintained his integrity and was ultimately beheaded for it. Given that this is a Bible study, it may be worthy to point out that the Bible doesn’t specifically say that Paul was beheaded. Rather,

“Early church historians and fathers, including Eusebius and Tertullian, state that Paul was executed (beheaded) by the Roman emperor Nero around A.D. 64–67.”

-Sean  MacDowell-

Let’s ask ourselves these questions. Do I say what I mean and do what I say? Why or why not? Do I repent when I fail? Am I obedient to the word of God or just the parts that I like and give me a dopamine rush? Is God’s truth the standard for my life or is people pleasing and politicking in Jesus’s name my way? What does integrity or the lack thereof look like in my life?

Does integrity even matter?

Chew on that…

Maranatha

Brian and Cathy Gray Bible study

Saul of Tarsus


And Saul approved of his (Steven’s) execution. And there arose on that day a great persecution against the church in Jerusalem, and they were all scattered throughout the regions of Judea and Samaria, except the apostles.

Acts 8:1

Saul was a Roman citizen in Tarsus, one of, if not the most significant, trade hubs in the ancient world. After being trained in one of the most lucrative trades namely tent making, Saul went to Jerusalem to study theology under Gamaliel (remember Acts 5) for seven years. Some say this was the equivalent of two PhDs. Suffice it to say that Saul was revered. Hence, Steven’s killers laid his clothing at Saul’s feet. However, in sanctioning Steven’s murder Saul was guilty of breaking multiple laws. Capital punishment by local authorities was prohibited under Roman law without prior approval from the Roman government.  Jewish law required the testimony of two or more witnesses. Also, stoning was required to be carried out outside the city gates. This was an impulsive murder by a mob driven by emotion.  Saul went on to persecute believers en masse. Later he would refer to himself as the lowest of the low.

…We have become, and are still, like the scum of the world, the refuse of all things.

1 Cor 4:13

The saying is trustworthy and deserving of full acceptance, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am the foremost.

1 Timothy 1:15

Based on verse 4 in Acts 8, 
Now those who were scattered went about preaching the word; it appears that Saul’s persecution of believers was a catalyst for the propagation of the Gospel message. Historically speaking, persecution has been one of the most effective means of promoting the Gospel. The question in my mind is, is this God’s plan, or is He merely causing what the devil means for harm to accomplish His will?

And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn among many brothers.

Romans 8:28-29

We know that the process of conforming something requires pressure. Tribulation, persecution, affliction, suffering, etc., are Thilipsis in Greek and mean pressure. Our character is conformed to the image of Christ when we endure or persevere under pressure.

Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.

Romans 5:3-5

Christians are being persecuted and martyred for their faith all over the world as I write and you read. The graphic video below is from Darfur, Sudan. It happened just a few days ago. If this is hard to handle, how will you handle the same if it happens to you or someone you love? Ask yourself, what is idolatry? What does faithlessness look like in the context of our lives now and in the context of persecution? What is the definition of cowardice?

What do you think? Is our health, wealth, and comfort in this life God’s primary goal? Should the content of our conversation be food, entertainment, and worldly gossip, a.k.a the community news? Or should we be preparing our hearts and minds for something else?

Be sure you’re right. Then go ahead.

Davy Crockett

But as for the cowardly, the faithless, the detestable, as for murderers, the sexually immoral, sorcerers, idolaters, and all liars, their portion will be in the lake that burns with fire and sulfur, which is the second death.

Revelation 21:8
Mediate on that.

Maranatha

Brian and Cathy Gray Bible study, Commentary

MAMA

But sanctify the Lord God in your hearts: and be ready always to give an answer to every man that asketh you a reason of the hope that is in you with meekness and fear: having a good conscience; that, whereas they speak evil of you, as of evildoers, they may be ashamed that falsely accuse your good conversation in Christ.

1 Peter 3:15-16

Meekness is praÿtēs –

mildness of disposition, gentleness of spirit, meekness
Meekness toward God is that disposition of spirit in which we accept His dealings with us as good, and therefore without disputing or resisting. In the OT, the meek are those wholly relying on God rather than their own strength to defend them against injustice. Thus, meekness toward evil people means knowing God is permitting the injuries they inflict, that He is using them to purify His elect, and that He will deliver His elect in His time.

– Strongs concordance –

Meekness is also likened to a battle horse that is unwavering in its obedience to its master.

In our Acts 17:11 Bereans Bible study we are watching the gradual escalation of persecution unfold in Acts. The disciples are bold and unyielding in their message.

“Jesus is the only way. You murdered your own Messiah!”

The Sadducees wanted to kill the disciples from the start. But they were afraid of the people. Thus far, the disciples have been apprehended, warned not to speak, released, imprisoned, miraculously freed, beaten, and warned not to speak.

So they departed from the presence of the council, rejoicing that they were counted worthy to suffer shame for His name.

Acts 5:41

The disciples were meek.

They did not compromise their directive from Jesus. Neither did they add to it.

The world is shaken by the recent public assassination of Charlie Kirk. He was addressing the subject of gun violence. Some are crying. Others are riddled with excitement. As expected, extremes on both the political left and the right are heralding the start of civil war. 

Charlie Kirk was a Christian. He was conservative, pro-traditional family, pro-Israel, anti – abortion, etc.  Charlie Kirk was 31 years old.

Charlie Kirk was the same age as several of our family members whose worldview is diametrically opposed to that of Charlie Kirk. Israel vs. Hamas was a topic of a recent discussion. “Hamas launches rockets from hospitals and schools,” I said. “So does Israel!” they responded. “That’s ridicul…”  I caught myself.

How do I know?

The truth is, I don’t. I only know what the Google algorithm presents to me according to my biases.  Did Greta Thunberg’s boat recently get hit by an Israeli drone or was it an explosion and fire caused by fireworks on board? Were Israelis attending the Nova festival on October 7th killed by Hamas or the IDF according to the Hannibal Directive? In the words of the Palestinian Christian woman with whom we stayed in Samaria rang in my head, 

“The Israelis and Hamas are the same.”

The truth is that neither one of us knows. Biblically, God has a plan for all of Abraham’s children, both Jacob and Ishmael.

Charlie Kirk began his final “Prove me wrong” public dialogue with a reference to 1 Corinthians 5 that addresses the subject of sexual immorality. He did not mention leaven.

Your boasting is not good. Do you not know that a little leaven leavens the whole lump? Cleanse out the old leaven that you may be a new lump, as you really are unleavened. For Christ, our Passover lamb, has been sacrificed.

1 Corinthians 5:6-7

Charlie Kirk should not have been shot. He was a genuine Christian man, a husband and a father adored by millions. Those who hated him, hated him because of his politics. Jesus warned about religious legalism and politics.

Then Jesus said unto them, Take heed and beware of the leaven of the Pharisees and of the Sadducees.

Matthew 16:6

The Pharisees and Sadducees were both religious and political parties. Charlie wasn’t killed amidst a proclamation and appeal that Jesus is the only way. He was killed amidst a dialogue concerning gun violence and the right to bear arms. The 2nd Amendment exists to protect the individual’s right to take human life and overthrow the government under certain conditions established by the Constitution. None of this has anything to do with the teachings and commands of Jesus and Biblical Christianity.

Probably the biggest gripe my family members and those with whom they are aligned have against Christianity is the hypocrisy of politically leavened Christians. As followers of Jesus, we are called to preach the gospel as Jesus and the Apostles preached it.

That is all!

There is not one shred of evidence anywhere in the New Testament of any directive to attempt a political transformation. Aside from “render onto Ceaser what is Caesar’s” and “Honoring the King”, politics is a Biblical nothing burger. Even more, we are not called to judge unbelievers and the system run by the god of it. We are called to judge believers. Not because unbelievers are right. But because even the most altruistic unbeliever is already dead in their trespasses and appointed to wrath. Dead people can do nothing. Rather we are called to an eternal perspective. We are to preach the Word in season and out of season. We are called to study ourselves approved, to take captive every thought, and cast down every argument that exalts itself above the knowledge of God. We are called to care for widows and orphans in their distress and remain untainted by the world. We are to always be ready with an apologetic defense for the hope that is in us. We are not called to fight with carnal weapons or transform institutions. We are called to be spiritual and meek even at the cost of our own lives.

The public assassination of Charlie Kirk is as horrifying as it is saddening. Many on the opposing political extreme right are calling for extrajudicial retaliation. Those on the extreme left are emboldened. Meanwhile, I can only imagine the same thing happening to those in my own family on the political left. While their worldview is diametrically opposed to that of Charlie Kirk, they aren’t any more violent than Charlie was. Still, given that some of them attend political protests at times, the possibility remains. One thing is certain. The love of many is growing colder by the day. Hence,

Violence begets more violence.

The time is coming, and it is now here, when we will be persecuted for our faith. Let us resolve today to study and follow the Acts of the Apostles such that if we are beaten, imprisoned, or killed, it is for the sake of an unleavened Gospel alone. Instead of praying and proclaiming MAGA, let us repent and pray MAMA as a church.

Make America Meek Again

Alas, apart from those who already view the world as I do, I suspect my words will fall on deaf ears. Others might be enraged. As. always all are welcome to prove me wrong via scripture alone. Meanwhile, I am a sojourner here. I am in this world but not of it.

My trust is in Jesus Christ alone.

Maranatha